A Marriage Made In Heaven

The media called it the wedding of the century. The Archbishop of Canterbury who performed it said it was the stuff of which fairy tales are made. And I'm not speaking of the marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton two years ago. I'm speaking of the marriage of his parents 32 years ago. Prince Charles and Diana. Hundreds of dignitaries crowded St. Paul's Cathedral on that day, June 29th, 1981. Hundreds of thousands of British folk gathered in the streets outside in London. Hundreds of millions of people joined it on television, sat in front of their television sets, some in parts of the world middle of the night interrupting sleep to be able to see the spectacle of a royal wedding. The marriage of this beautiful young school teacher and the heir to the throne of England. Captured the fantasy of the world, the fancy of the world. But before long, what started out with such promise and pomp and pageantry began to unravel privately and then publicly. Until finally there was nothing left but a shell of a marriage. Two people living separate lives in separate places bound only by their children and the power of the monarchy. And even that was not enough. Finally an ugly divorce and a tragic death of Lady Die. Very sad, wasn't it to watch that played out on the international stage over the years? And yet I suspect there are many like that here today. Although obviously your wedding and your marriage was not played out on such a public worldwide scale, there are probably many here today within the bonds of marriage saying, you know, this is not all that I expected it would be. In fact, I'm really quite miserable. Some of you may be saying, if I were really honest and I'm not going to say this to anybody, but some of you will say, if I were really honest, I would probably tell you, I probably would have been better off if I had never married. All the heartache or the difficulty or the trouble, we have clearly lost sight of what a biblical God-honoring marriage is in our culture today. Even sad to say, many of us in the church have lost sight of that. So this morning I want to begin a series of messages entitled, a marriage made in heaven. Now that may sound a little trite, but you'll see as we get into the message the reason why I've chosen that title, a marriage made in heaven. And where I want to begin this morning is with a foundational verse which I want to use as our theme verse for this entire series, it is Psalm 127 and verse 1. If you'll open your Bibles, please, to Psalm 127. If you're kind of new to the faith and new to your Bible, if you'll just open your Bible right in the middle, you'll be somewhere around Psalms. Find Psalm 127. We're going to look at verse 1. Psalm 127, verse 1, if you have a title in your Bible to the Psalms, which most do, you see it is a song of a sense and is written by Solomon. Nonetheless, notice what he says in verse 1, unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Now when the Psalm is entitled a song of a sense, it means literally a song to be sung by those who are ascending or making their way up to Jerusalem. For the feast days, for the three grand national celebrations of feast days that were held every year in Israel and other holy days that were held there in the temple. And as they sang this song, they were to be reminded that all of life's blessings and all of life's securities are gifts from God. They are not the result of our own achievements. But when Solomon says that, unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain, he's not just talking about the structure. He's not talking about the mortar and the brick and the wood that goes to make up a building. He is quite literally talking about the people who reside in that building. He's talking about the home. Because if you follow on through the chapter, which is a very short chapter, the whole focus is upon the people who make up the home. Let's take another look. Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain, unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain, you rise up early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat, for he grants sleep to those he loves. Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth, blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court. It's obvious that this is a discourse on the home and the people who make up the home, husband and wife, parents and children. And so Solomon is reminding us of the blessing that God gives us in giving us our mates and our children. So I want to start with this understanding to form the foundation of this series of messages. Unless our homes are built on the principles of God's word, they will crumble and fall. Let's make sure we get that. This is foundational. This will be our theme for the whole series of messages. Unless our homes are built on the principles of God's word. Unless God builds the house, they labor in vain that build it. They will crumble and fall. Our homes will fail unless they are built according to God's instruction. So as we begin this series of messages this morning, I want us to think in terms of what this is going to be about. This morning I'm just going to introduce the series of messages which I anticipate will be 18 messages in all. To begin with, I want to explain to you what the method of this series will be. I want to explain exactly how we will undergo this series of messages. For those of you who have been to the chapel very long, you know that my preferred manner of preaching is to take a book of the Bible and just preach straight through it. That's called expository preaching or exposition of the text. That's my favorite way to preach. And I think that really is probably the best way to preach the word as the Bible tells pastors to do. However, there are certain topics that are so important and foundational to us as a church. That it is important that we address those topics as well. However, I promise you in dealing with this topic we will take a biblical perspective. So the method of this series will be a biblical perspective. And that's what I mean by the title of this series, a marriage made in heaven. That's not some little trite saying where a couple is really uniquely compatible with each other. And so we use that expression, oh, their marriage was made in heaven, right? Well, marriage, the concept of marriage was made in heaven. It has that tag, just like most of the tags of clothing we wear say made in China or made in Bangladesh. The tag on marriage says made in heaven. God is the one who thought up the idea. God is the one who created it. God is the one who instituted it. And because he tells us in his word how marriage is to be done and how it's to be lived out, he gives us divine instructions. So if we live by those divine instructions with his divine enablement, then we really have a marriage that has been made in heaven. It came from the earth's being lived out by that power and those divine instructions. That's what I mean by a marriage made in heaven. I don't mean some sweet little couple that just seem so fitted for each other. A marriage made in heaven is a marriage that comes down from heaven given by God's instructions lived out, according to those instructions and by the enablement of the spirit of God. That is a marriage made in heaven. Now I promise you a biblical perspective. I promise you we will deal with what the Bible teaches about marriage. I am not a psychologist. Although I had a year of training under Christian psychologist Larry Krab when I was in seminary, I'm not a Christian psychologist. I don't claim to be. Psychology has a lot of good insights to offer in regard to how the human mind works and how human behavior should be understood. A lot of good insights there, but we're going to stick with the word of God and the principles and applications from the insights of Scripture. I will also very willingly and publicly admit that I am not an expert in the practice of marriage. All you would have to do is ask my wife. Although I suspect she would probably be too gracious and kind to offer her truthful perspective on the shortcomings of her husband. She is that kind of lady. But I do not lift myself up as the ultimate example of what a husband ought to be. I'm just like you. I'm a fellow learner. I fail. I don't always live up to what God says I should be in do and treating my wife in the way she should be treated. But together we will learn God's perspective on marriage. I do believe God's word tells us what we need to know about marriage. And so we will draw together the biblical principles and applications from those and apply them to real life situations that we all face as husbands and wives. So I promise you a biblical perspective. Secondly, we are going to take a broad perspective on this as well. As I mentioned earlier, there will be 18 weeks in this particular study. And here's how we're going to lay it out. I want to give you kind of a bird's eye view of it first and then we'll take it from week to week. I want to begin with two messages after this morning. Two kind of introductory messages on the Bible basics of marriage. We will begin with Genesis 2 where God instituted marriage and will spend a whole message on that passage. Then we'll move to another introductory foundational passage and that's Ephesians 5. Where Paul summarizes in the last verse of that chapter everything he teaches about marriage in two overarching foundational biblical principles. And that is husbands need to love their wives as themselves. Wives should see to it that they respect their husbands. Love and respect are the foundational building blocks of a good marriage. And so what I want to do with that on that foundation, I want to take six weeks to describe Lord willing in six messages. What that means to love your wife and to respect your husband will take three weeks on each of you. And we will take the husband's first. We're going to talk about what your wife needs. In other words, how do you love her? By the way, this is not original material with me as far as how it's presented and framed. There's a guy by the name of Emerson Egritchis who has written a great book called Love and Respect. He does a great job dealing with Ephesians chapter five. It's a recent book but it's a great book on marriage. And I'm going to draw heavily from his packaging of these concepts to lay them out this way. What your wife needs, how you as a husband should love your wife, there are six things your wife needs. Number one, she and in this acronym here, a couple, she needs first of all closeness. Your wife needs to be close to you, not distant but close. Secondly, your wife needs openness. She needs you to be open with her to be open from your heart to share with her, your life, your heart, your work. Thirdly, she needs understanding. She needs you to listen to her, not try to fix her. It's the bent of us men to fix things. The bent of our men, to us men to fix our wives and fix our kids and fix everything else. And so she needs to know that you understand. And by the way, Peter says something about that in first Peter three seven. We'll be looking at that verse. Husbands live with your wives according to knowledge or in an understanding way. Fourthly, your wife needs peacemaking. She needs to know that you can say, I'm sorry, I was wrong. And to make peace when something happens. She needs that. Now, I'm not suggesting you say that you're wrong for everything. That you take responsibility and say, I'm wrong about everything. I mean, I don't want you to be like the husband I heard about that said, we have a perfect marriage. I do not try to run my wife's life and I do not try to run my life. That's not a perfect marriage. That's not the way it's supposed to be. So I'm not suggesting that all you just own up there and take responsibility. I'm sorry about everything. Dear, you're always right. I'm always wrong. I'm not suggesting that, but your wife does need to know that you will be a peacemaker. That you will admit failure when it comes. And then, fifthly, your wife needs loyalty. She needs to know that you're committed to her and to your marriage. And that with all the competing enticements of this day and age, that you are loyal to her. Sixthly, she needs esteem. She needs to know that you honor and cherish her. Those words are taken directly from Ephesians 5, where Paul says that we should honor and cherish our wives as a precious possession. So that's what your wife needs. And I'm going to take three messages to sum up those six principles of how to love your wife. And then, then we'll turn our attention to the husbands. If you're still with us at that time, we'll turn our attention to the wives, actually. And we'll talk about what your husband needs. How to respect him. If Paul says the husband is to focus on loving his wife, the wife is to focus on respecting her husband. What does that mean? He needs six things as well. It spells out chairs. It's not that he needs a new chair. Although a recliner might be nice. He needs these things. He needs to know, first of all, in regard to conquest. Now, don't misunderstand these words. He needs to conquer you, to have conquest over you. But he needs, in this area of conquest, he needs to know that you appreciate his desire to work and achieve. God has built that into the man as the leader of the home, the desire to work and achieve. He needs to know that you understand that desire. Secondly, in regard to hierarchy. He needs to know that you appreciate his desire to protect and provide. God's built into the heart of men to protect their families and provide for their families. He needs to know that you understand that, that you appreciate that, that you honor and respect him for that. Thirdly, in regard to authority. He needs to understand to know that you appreciate his desire to serve and to lead. God has given men the leadership role in the home. We'll talk about how the scriptures lay that out. He needs to know that you respect that. That you honor that area of authority. Fourthly, the area of insight. Your husband needs to know that you appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel. Again, that's part of the male psyche and build up and make up. It's part of the way God's put us together. And so he needs to know that you understand and appreciate that. Fifthly, in the area of relationship. Your husband needs to know that you appreciate his desire for a shoulder to shoulder friendship with you. And we'll talk about what that means. And then number six, sexuality. Your husband needs to know that you appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy. And we'll talk about what the scriptures say about that. So three messages to sum up those six things that your husband needs in order to know that you respect him. Husbands love your wives. Wives respect your husbands. Those are the two summary statements, foundational statements about a marriage. And we'll flesh that out and see how that works. And then we'll kind of turn a corner in the series. And I anticipate doing seven messages on seven keys to harmony in the home and in the marriage. Now over 40 years of doing premarital counseling and counseling with marital couples, these are the things. I didn't get this out of any book, this list or anything. These are the things I have seen to be the biggest problems in marriages. The biggest things that couples, the biggest reasons why couples have trouble. And the biggest things that need to be covered in premarital counseling. They're these seven things. First of all, conflict management. How to have conflict and yet come out of it okay. Secondly, leaving mom and dad. What is your relationship to your parents and how does that change because of your marriage? Thirdly, communication. Fourthly, unsalphishness. How to put the other person first. Fifthly, love. What kinds of love are involved in marriage? There are four different kinds that the Bible talks about. And how that must be kept strong and demonstrated and so forth. We'll talk about that. Then we'll talk about honesty and lastly, we'll talk about financial management. Those seven difficulties are the things that most marriages stumble over. One or more of those things and so we'll talk about those seven keys to harmony in the home. That'll take us up through message 16. I anticipate closing the series with two very specifically directed messages on topics that need to be covered. One is living with an unbelieving spouse. Since the Bible addresses that very clearly in 1 Peter 3, that needs to be a part of this series. And then lastly, I want to do a message on divorce. And I'm not going to do a message on divorce that attacks people and hurts people. I want to give hope and healing for those who've gone through divorce and wish you could take it all back and do it differently. When divorce happens, when it all comes tumbling down, how do you deal with that? And so that'll be the series Lord willing. We will cover those particular topics in this broad perspective on marriage. I want to make sure that today you understand my motivations for this series as well. Not only the method of this series, what we will cover, but the motivations. First of all, let me say this. A lot of this series sounds like it's just going to be geared to husbands and wives. And some of you may have already checked out. And you've said, forget it. I'm not married. I don't want to be married. I don't intend to get married or to remarry. And so this is not for me. But I think you will find that it will be. For two reasons. A lot of the things we will talk about are basic human relationship issues. And so they will help you in issues like conflict management and financial management and love and honesty and all kinds of those kinds of things. We'll help you in any kind of relationship you have, even with your own family, regardless of whether or not you're married. Secondly, they will help you help others, I believe. The principles that we see from God's word will help you help your children, your grandchildren, your sisters, brothers, your family, whoever, your friend. So don't check out just because you're not married. Don't think this is not for me. I think we will find plenty to keep us all engaged. In this particular series of messages. But there are three core convictions of mine that form the foundation, the motivation for this series. Number one is the importance of the home. Absolute importance of the home. I believe that the home is foundational to all other institutions in society. Even biblically. If you go to your Bible, you'll find that God instituted the church. It is his primary means of doing his work today, the local church. That was in Acts chapter two. If you go way back toward the beginning of the Old Testament, you'll find that God instituted a nation, Genesis 12, the nation of Israel. And in the Old Testament, Israel was his chosen people, the people on whom he sought to give his blessing and favor, and he still has a plan for them in the future. If you go a little further back than Genesis 12, you'll find that God instituted also human government in Genesis 9. When Noah walked off the ark, God set up the basic institution of human government to rule over the affairs of his fellow man. But you have to go all the way back to the beginning to find the first institution that God created, and that is the home. When God made Adam, he saw that it was not good for him to be alone, so he created Eve, a partner compatible with him, suitable to his needs, and brought them together in the first marriage in the Garden of Eden. And the home was established at the very beginning. The home is the foundational institution. It is foundational to all of society. It is where we learn the principles that we live by, that affect our relationship, that everybody else, whether it be in government or in the nation or in society or in school. It is where we learn how we relate to other people. It is no overstatement that the most problems, most of the problems we have with other people stem from issues in the home. The home is the foundational institution of all, and if the home is God's first and primary foundational institution, then marriage is at the core of it. Because marriage is the most important relationship in that home. And so because of the importance of the home, I want to stress this series on marriage. The second reason, however, and motivation for me is the magnitude of attacks on homes and marriages today. The magnitude of the attacks in our culture, marriages are failing right and left. And behind all the startling statistics, whatever statistic you read is startling enough. Behind all the startling statistics is simply the attitude that has become more prevalent, even in Christian marriages and in churches today, if you start having problems, just bail out. If my needs are not being met, then get out. We have lost to a great degree the standard that marriage is a lifelong commitment and covenant before God. That means we will try to work out those problems. Now having said that, let me ease some of the hurt that some of you are feeling. Some of you have had marriages that were destroyed because of what happened that you could not control. Things that happened maybe partly on your part, but on your mates part as well. You can't go back and undo that. The eggs already been scrambled. You can't put it back in the shell. Some of you never wanted that, never intended that. Hope it would never happen. It would never happen. Stayed in that marriage until you were just about beaten down to nothing. I understand that. I understand where you're I've counseled with many, many, many people who've been in those shoes. I have counseled people before for various reasons that it is not wise to stay in that kind of a situation. I believe the Bible gives at least two reasons why divorce is acceptable or tolerable even in God's eyes. So please, please don't misunderstand. I do understand when people have been hurt in a way that has led to divorce. So I don't mean to heat guilt or pains on what you've already been through. But I do think we need to resurrect the ideal that God gives us in his word and refocus on that that God intends for marriage to be a lifelong commitment and covenant where we will work out the problems that we have if it all possible. I also believe the sacredness of the marriage relationship is under huge attack in our culture today. The pre-marital sex is seen as being okay. And so more and more and more couples live together before they get married. And that's just seen as okay. Nobody bats an eye at that anymore. There are few lonely voices who uphold the biblical standard. The biblical standard is that sex is only within marriage. Hebrews 13, 4, very clear. Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled, but adulterers and fornicators God will judge. The Bible does not mince words. The sexual relationship is intended for marriage only. And so living together before marriage, coming together in a sexual way before marriage is outlawed in God's word. And there are few voices that are willing to say that anymore. Pre-marital sex is so, so overwhelmingly portrayed on television. There are not a lot of television shows that I enjoy seeing. It's mostly sports and news and weather. I told you about my favorite channel, the Weather Channel. I won't go back into that. But there are a few programs that I have watched from time to time. Think about your TV viewing habits. How many of the programs do you watch present couples living together in a healthy marriage? In almost every program I've seen, everybody's single to start with and they're looking for anybody possible to sleep with that they can. That is so heavily promoted in the entertainment media today that it has watered down our resolve to stick to the biblical concept. And that is that marriage is the only, the only God ordained expression for sexual desire. Adultery has become so common that it is no longer shocking. Everybody's doing it. Why not? But the greatest challenge we face today to biblical, Christ-honoring marriages is the attack and the quick advance of the homosexual agenda. Now I'm not looking for applause today, so don't do that. I appreciate at times when you have affirmed that stance, but just listen to me this morning. Recently I read an article in Decision Magazine, Billi Grams Magazine by Albert Molar, Jr., the president of Southern Seminary in Louisville on this very topic, how same-sex marriage threatens society. He has such a wonderful way. If you don't know Al Molar, you may not understand, he has become probably the foremost voice of addressing cultural issues from a biblical perspective. He has a blog that he takes up every issue down, coming down the pike and just treats it from a beautiful, biblical perspective. He's a great theologian and a great speaker. Because he is such a good speaker, I want to use some of his words this morning and quote from some of this article. This is what he says about how much of a threat we are under today and how we've never seen a threat like this in our history as believers or as a country. Listen to what he says. We are living in the midst of a moral revolution right before our eyes at a pace unprecedented in human history. An entire moral order is turning upside down. At the center of this revolution stands the issue of homosexuality and the specific question of same-sex marriage. When this revolution is complete, marriage will have been redefined and sexual morality will have been utterly transformed and Christians will find themselves in uncharted territory. Now listen carefully to what he says. Just a decade ago, not one state recognized same-sex marriage until last November, no state had legalized same-sex marriage through voter initiative. The velocity, listen to this statement, the velocity of the moral revolution to legalize same-sex marriage has been breathtaking in just the last few months. He wrote this in April. And I got to thinking this week, you know, what has happened just in the last few months? And so I went back to the first instance he mentions back in the fall campaign of last year. And I kind of traced even beyond what he did. What has happened since then and it is like a series of dominoes falling quickly. First domino fell in the US presidential campaign and he addresses this last year in the midst of the 2012 US presidential campaign president Barack Obama announced that his position on same-sex marriage had quote unquote evolved. He told Robin Roberts of ABC News that even as he had opposed the legalization of same-sex marriage in his 2008 campaign, he now supported efforts to allow same-sex couples to marry. He also instructed at the same time his attorney general to cease defending the Defense of Marriage Act signed into law by President Bill Clinton in 1996. Shortly thereafter, the Supreme Court agreed to consider the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act in California's Proposition 8, which was a measure voted on by the people in California to amend the state's constitution to define marriage as the union of a man and a woman. And I began to think what has happened since that time that was the first domino to fall that announcement. The second domino was the 2012 election where four states voted in voter initiatives to approve same-sex marriage. That was a first in the United States. Six states and the District of Columbia already had approved same-sex marriage, but that was by either legislative dictate or judicial mandate, not by the vote of the people. It wasn't until this past November that people in states began to vote they wanted to legalize same-sex marriage. That happened in four states in one election. The next domino to fall was in January with the President's inaugural address where he called for the support of same-sex marriage and equated gay rights with civil rights. Both of those moves unprecedented never have happened in any inaugural address which is supposed to lay out the prime objectives of a President for his term. So the prime initiatives he clearly laid out to promote same-sex marriage and gay rights. That was a huge domino. Next domino to fall was in March where a key conservative senator from Ohio changed his position to support same-sex marriage. It rocked the conservative wing of both parties. Next domino to fall was in April where under enormous public and political pressure the boy scouts of America adopted a policy to allow openly gay scouts. The next domino to fall was in May. See how quickly this train is picking up steam. The next domino was in May when National Basketball Association player Jason Collins announced that he was gay. It was the first time an active player in a major national sport still playing for a team had made that kind of a public announcement. He was hailed as a hero in the press. Received a phone call of congratulations from our President. He was called by USA today. He was likened to Jackie Robinson, the African American player in baseball who broke the racial barrier. And here's a guy breaking another barrier that needed to be broken. He was acclaimed a hero. And then when Chris Brussard, who is an ESPN commentator who is a strong believer, was asked the question about Jason Collins coming out. Chris Brussard cited his Christian faith in expressing his view that homosexuality was a sin. But if you heard the interview, he did it in a very clear, direct, but a very kind and gracious way. He was vilified in the press. ESPN quickly acknowledged that he was wrong and issued an apology and expressed public support for Jason Collins and his statement. So we're getting the clear message. If we didn't know it already, this was a big domino to fall. And the reason why it was so big is it highlighted the shift in our culture. It's okay to proclaim an openly anti-biblical stance, to take that viewpoint. You're a hero if you do that. But if you take the other side on the debate and take a biblical view, we as a culture are not very tolerant of that. This super tolerant culture that's supposed to be tolerant of all views has no tolerance for a biblical Christian worldview. And that's exactly what happened to Chris Brussard. It was a major domino that fell in May. And then in June, just recently, the Supreme Court overturned the Defense of Marriage Act. And that's opened up over 1,000 federal laws and benefits to same-sex couples. The dominoes are falling quickly and I don't believe they've stopped falling. No wonder World Magazine in its April 20th issue would have the headline article, likening the gay marriage agenda to a runaway train that is unstoppable. No wonder Time Magazine in its April 8th issue would have the glaring cover article of How Gay Marriage One. Now my friend, that's the culture we're living in. It's the runaway seemingly unstoppable train that we are presented with. And now I want to pick up with Al Molder's con with his comments again. They are on the mark. Please listen to what he says. They are prophetic. Prophetic. Prophetic. Not pathetic. They're prophetic. He says evangelical Christians committed to the Bible as the word of God. And to the gospel as the only hope of salvation face a great challenge. The Bible presents only one understanding of marriage. As Jesus stated, God's intention from the beginning was that marriage be a union of a man and a woman for a lifetime. Matthew 19, 4 and 5. And Jesus was quoting Genesis 2. The foundational passage on marriage. Molder goes on to say marriage was not given to human beings for our renegotiation. We have no right to define it. God's already defined it. That's what he's saying. And that is true. He says God gave humanity marriage as one of the good gifts of creation and as the central institution of human civilization. Furthermore, God has commanded us to restrict sexual activity to marriage. And the Bible specifically and repeatedly condemns all forms of homosexuality as sin. Christians who remain faithful to the Bible cannot join the moral revolution taking place around us. Now, having said that, I want to break a little bit from what Almolder is saying and just remind you as I've done before. Although the Bible is very clear about homosexuality as a sin and is very clear about the only marriage being between a man and a woman. I also want to make it very clear that at Johnston Chapel we love all sinners and we are all sinners. Every one of us, myself included, our sins may differ. We may struggle with different issues. We're all sinners. And we welcome and love anyone who may come to this church. And we trust that anyone, no matter what sexual orientation they may be or background they may have or sin they may come out of. We open our arms to everyone and trust that in hearing God's love through the gospel they will come to know Jesus Christ because Jesus Christ forgives of all sin. Regardless of what kind it is and homosexuality is just one of many sins the Bible talks about. But it is a sin. That much is clear. And that is the point on which we radically disagree with the way our culture is headed. So I want to make that clear. We love everyone and want everyone to come to Christ and we would never turn anyone away from that door to come in here and worship God. He goes on. Motor does to say this. Here is the challenge before evangelical Christians with the legalization of same sex marriage and its rapid acceptance because we cannot condone or endorse or celebrate what God is condemned. And because we cannot give our consent to the redefinition of marriage many in the larger society see us as intolerant, unloving and even dangerous. We find ourselves unable to accept the redefinition of marriage but unable to stop it. So we find this and he goes on to talk about I won't take the time to read this. The legalization of same sex marriage will present Christian churches and institutions with a monumental threat to Christian liberty and he talks about three cases that have already gone against Christian institutions to in California one in Massachusetts. We tell you this we will face this as a church. We better gear up to face it because we will if West Virginia adopts same sex marriage. Then we will face it as a church. And we may even face it legally. We will have to be ready to say are we willing to give up everything to take the right stand on the Bible. Are we willing to go to court. Are we willing to be sued. Are we willing to have everything taken from us. He goes on to describe how the early church and many since then in many parts of the world have had to suffer under attack and persecution. I don't know if that's what will happen but I suspect we're going to face a measure of that in this country on that issue. The attack on the biblical concept of marriage. That is why this is so important. That's why we have to become rooted and grounded in what the Bible teaches. I recognize there are some even among us who will take issue with my words. I will not apologize for a biblical stand. I will do it lovingly as graciously and kindly as I know how but I will not apologize for standing on this book. And so we better be ready to face that issue. It's coming at us like a runaway train. The dominoes are falling quickly. But then there's the tragedy of failure. I just mentioned this. No one plans to fail. But many marriages are failing with untold suffering and scars for life. Please understand this series is not intended to chastise anyone from mistakes already made for heartaches already endured. I'm not going to add guilt. I'm not going to be a negative approach. I want to be very positive in this series. I want to rebuild to help us rebuild what's crumbling. If in your experience it's crumbling. I want to help us get back to the basics of biblical principles that will help us all to strengthen our marriages. I want us to present a model for young people to shoot for to attain because they're hearing everything else in this culture. And we need to return to the biblical model of what marriage really is. I want to offer that wholesome, biblical, healthy model for young people to say, that is what I want. And I will not settle for anything less. I will not just take the first warm breathing creature that comes my way. I'm going to make sure he's a believer who takes the same stand on the Bible. I want to lift up that model for young people. I also want to help those who are unmarried. Again, don't check out if you're single on this series because I believe that a lot of the things we'll talk about will strengthen you and your own personal relationships with anyone. Also help you to understand how to help others who are struggling in the areas that I've talked about in marriage, the tragedy of failure. Let me close with this. The marriage foundation. What is a Christian marriage? Here's the foundation, a Christian marriage. First of all, it is not a perfect marriage. Christian marriage is not a perfect marriage. There is no perfect marriage. There are no perfect homes. There is no dream world where everything is peace and quiet and continual joy and harm. Husbands and wives are sinners. Individually we're sinners, two sinners under the same roof. Uh oh, you got problems. You're going to have some conflict. You're going to have some failure. You're going to have some letting each other down. You're going to have some fights. You're going to have some things that happen. There's no perfect marriage. And there's no perfect home either. There's no perfect parent child relationship in this sin cursed world. Your children are going to fight. When you invite guests, you want to impress over to your home. Your kids are going to eat peas off their knife and spill them all over the floor. I mean, they're going to fight with each other and fuss and cry at the meal and it's just going to be a disaster. Just might as well prepare for it. They're sinners. Okay. There are no perfect homes. No perfect marriages. There will be conflict. There will be misunderstanding. So what makes us different? What really is a Christian marriage? If it's not a perfect marriage, what makes us different from everybody else who faces those same problems? Two things. Number one, a Christian marriage is a marriage where Christ is savior. That's foundational where Christ is savior. We don't have time to look at these passages. I would encourage you to jot them down. Second Corinthians 614. Second Corinthians 614. Be not unequally yoked together. The Bible says. Now, I understand in the context. Paul is talking about idolatry and spiritual unequal yokes and the church in Corinth. I understand that, but the principle applies also to marriage. What greater or closer or more intimate yok is there of bonding together of two people or parties than in marriage. And so the principle, if it applies anywhere, applies in marriage. Do not be unequally yoked together. You know what that's saying? Mary only a believer. And I would extend that a step further. If your goal and intent is only to marry another believer in Jesus Christ, then that's the only people you should date. Or other believers as young people. There's another verse. You ought to jot down. First Corinthians 739. Paul's dealing with those who become single through the death of their mate. And he says, you're completely free to remarry if you so choose. But he gives this one restriction only in the Lord. In other words, got to be another believer. Now, that may sound like a terrible restriction that may sound like an onerous commandment of God to say you can only marry another believer. I love what Bill Hybel says in his book Fit to be tied, which is a book on marriage. He deals with this passage very well. He says this is not a capricious or cruel statement, but it is a loving plea of a father who is protecting his children from incompatibility and heartache. And he gives four reasons why God wants to ensure number one that you will share a common treasure. If you're a believer, the greatest treasure in your life is Christ and his word and his work. If you can't share that on a heart level with the person you're closest to in life, God's trying to protect you from the grief that will happen from that. Secondly, he's trying to love you, to show you, to enable you that you need to build a marriage from a common blueprint, not a completely different set of building plans. And if you're married to an unbeliever, you've got two different sets of building plans. There's going to be real conflict there. Thirdly, he reminds us that God is enabling us through this commandment to, through prayer, tap into a common strength in the face of life's inevitable adversities. Think about it. Great point. When you come up against a roadblock in your marriage or your life or something hits you on your job, how are you going to deal with that? If you're a believer, your first impulse is to turn to God to seek counsel through prayer and through his word. If you're really walking with the Lord, that's going to be your first impulse. If you're married to an unbeliever, they do not share that. And so you're not tapping into the same resource for help. Fourthly, he reminds us that God wants to ensure that we rear our children with commonly shared values instead of conflicting and confusing viewpoints. You begin rearing your children and find out you're on different pages as to what's important in life, what's right, what's wrong, whether or not you should even go to church, pray, read the Bible. Totally different pages if you're married to an unbeliever. God wants to protect you from at least those four disasters in marrying an unbeliever. So that's why he said that he's protecting us. It's a good as Bill Hybel says it is. It is. And I quote a sovereign wisdom for our good. It is God sovereignly declaring what is wise for us. So a Christian marriage is a marriage where Christ is saved your second. Lee it's where Christ is head. Another verse I would encourage you to jot down first Corinthians 113. Where Paul lays out kind of the order of authority and leadership in the church and in the home. And he says the father is the head of Christ. Christ is the head of the man. The man is the head of the woman or the wife in the home. That order begins with God the father and Christ being the head of the man who has given leadership responsibility in the home. Now we'll flesh that out when we get to that in the series. But don't miss the fact that Christ is the be the head of the man who's given leadership in the home. In other words, Christ is really the head of the home. He is the one to whom you turn for direction. He's the one to whom you turn for counsel and advice and help in living out life and dealing with all the problems and difficulties that come up. And so this is what I would challenge you to do this morning in closing. I would challenge you to look at your life very carefully. Look at it. Look at it real honestly. Do you have the foundation laid? I mean for your life personally. Have you trusted Jesus Christ as your savior? It's amazing how that will revolutionize your marriage. Much less your eternal destiny and the forgiveness of your sin and a right standing before God. But for this series it will also revolutionize your marriage. It will put you on the same page with your mate. So ask yourself honestly the question, do I know Jesus as my savior? Have I ever recognized that as a sinner? I need Jesus and His death on the cross. For the forgiveness of my sin, maybe you need to trust Christ today. Secondly, I would challenge you if you're married to honestly ask yourself and your mate this question. Have we ever volitionally, directly, consciously allow Jesus Christ to be the head of our home? And maybe you've just assumed that. Maybe you've just thought that's a good thing that you've never sat down with your wife or your husband across the table on the living room couch on the edge of your bed. Took each other's hands and said right now beginning right now. Christ will be the head of our homes. We will go together to him in prayer. We will seek His wisdom from His word. And whatever He directs us to do as a couple as a family, we will be sensitive to obey Him because He is Lord and He's the head of our marriage. Some of you may need to go home and actually do that today. Let's pray together. Father, thank you that your word is very clear. It does not leave us guessing or doubting about your view of marriage. I thank you that you've given us loving, gracious instructions that protect us from failure, protect us from heartache. I pray, Father, that we would be willing to accept your instructions from your word. Lord, I know there are marriages here today that are hurting. All of us live in marriages that experience some degree of failure and difficulty. I pray that we will be very alert, sensitive to your word, and that we will address areas that we hear you speak to us about that will enable us to model in a counter culture way. What it means to be a Christian home and a Christian family and have a Christian marriage. We ask for your divine enablement through your spirit to live out your word in Jesus' name. Amen.