Love and Respect

A couple was about to celebrate their 10th anniversary. 10th wedding anniversary and the wife began to wonder if her husband would remember. There had been plenty of times during the past decade when he had forgotten their anniversary altogether. No matter what she did, little hints, big hints, he would miss it. But on their 10th wedding anniversary with no hints at all, he remembers. He makes a beeline for hallmark and is soon gazing upon all those racks of greeting cards. One colorful card quickly catches his eye. He skims the words, they're perfect. He thinks this card is her, no doubt about it. He grabs it off the shelf, pays the clerk, and her he's home rejoicing. Finally, he has remembered their anniversary and a special one it will be, too. She is there when he arrives at home so he sneaks the card into another room, signs it, and quickly writes her name on the envelope. He even adds a couple of tiny hearts over her name as an extra touch. Then he comes out and hands his wife her 10th anniversary card. She beams from ear to ear, she is so happy. Finally, he has remembered. She tears open the card and begins to read. And then her face falls. The eyes that had been bright with loving energy turned cold. Her beaming countenance becomes sour and dark. What's wrong? Her husband asks. He's a very sensitive guy and he can pick up on these things. Nothing. There is, too. What's wrong? No, there's nothing wrong. But there is. I can see it. What is it? Holding up the card, she says, well, it's not bad for a birthday card. As you might guess, the conversation is headed downhill from here. Your kidding says the husband grabbing the card from her hand. No way, unbelievable. No, you're unbelievable. The husband blinks in the face of his wife's real anger. He knows he is full of goodwill. He has remembered their 10th anniversary. He has bought her a present as well as a card. Well, honey, I made a mistake. Give me a break. Give you a break? An honest mistake? Oh, it was an honest mistake, all right. Because you just don't care. You know what? If you took your car in to be detailed, you noticed that, right? Why? Because you care about the car. But you don't care about our anniversary. You don't care about me. The husband can't believe it. He is moving from feeling guilty to getting angry. What he thought would be a loving celebration of their 10th anniversary has become a conflict that is escalating fast. Hey, I made an honest mistake. All right. Give me a break. Good grief. You have a good memory of your 10th anniversary. And you expect me not to be upset? I'd rather you hadn't bought me any card at all. The husband has been on the defensive. But now his pulse rate is up. He has tried to do the loving thing. And all his wife can do is say nasty things. You know what? The way you're talking, I'm glad I got you a birthday card for your anniversary. And with that brilliant parting shot, I'm going to bring the door behind him. Approximately two minutes have passed since he handed her the card. This couple, a husband and wife who truly love each other, have come home expecting to spend a wonderful romantic evening together. Instead, they end up stomping to opposite ends of the house, staring out the windows into the darkness, wondering how to ever come to this and thinking, this is crazy. That story is an actual incident. Thankfully, not Genie and me, but it is an actual incident. Taken from Dr. Emerson Egrich's book Love and Respect. He gives another example. The husband has gone for a week on a business trip. As his plane lands, he starts envisioning a romantic evening with his wife. So he hurries home as quickly as he can. As he walks in the door, his wife's first words are, what are you doing home so early? Well, since you're here, I need you to pick up the kids from school and don't forget we have a parent teacher meeting this evening. Oh yes, I want you to talk, I want to talk with you about Billy. The teacher called today and said he's been showing off and distracting his friends in class. And on the way to school, can you pick up my clothes at the cleaners? Oh, almost forgot. Dinner will be late because my sister is dropping over for coffee. So much for the romantic evening planned by our night of the business road who has wound up playing second fiddle to the kids, the cleaning and his wife's sister. On his way out the back door, he calls sarcastically over his shoulder, great to see you after a week. His wife is bothered by his sarcastic tone. But just as he walks out the phone rings and she doesn't have time to follow him outside to ask him what he meant. Later during the parent teacher meetings, she senses he is still angry. But on the way home she says nothing. She's exhausted from all the week's activities and she's upset because he has never once asked her about all she had to deal with at home this week. She wonders what right he has to be upset with her when he is the one being unreasonable. As they retire into bed that night, the husband decides that he will make up with his wife in the most obvious and natural way. As he reaches to rub her back, which is usually a good way to start making up, she groans don't. I'm too tired. Angerily he rolls away from her without saying a word, wounded by his anger. She says you're so insensitive. In disbelief he replies, I can't believe you said that. I've been gone for a week. I come home. And instead of any kind of greeting, you just go on about the kids and your sister. When I try to get close, you tell me you're too tired and then you call me insensitive. Am I just a meal ticket to you? By now the wife is very hurt and she retorts. You never once asked how I was doing. The only time you get interested in me is at night time. I was gone a week when we were first married and I had to travel. You couldn't wait to see me get home. You'd greet me at the door with a smile and a kiss. Now you simply look up and say, why are you home so early? Thanks, that really makes my day. Now you've laughed a little bit. Some of you have gotten a little uncomfortable. Some of you have elbowed your mate. Some of you have smiled. A difficult smile of recognition. Because all too often these two stories recorded in the book I mentioned earlier are the truth about how marriage is actually work. The problem is that's not how God intended them to work. Yes, there are difficulties in everyday life. There are challenges and there is no perfect relationship. But God has given us a model for marriage that enables us to know how it is supposed to work. Three weeks ago for those of you who have been on vacation we started a series on marriage. Last time we were together on this topic we talked about some basic principles from Genesis chapter 2. Today it is my intent to once again do kind of a basic principles kind of message before we dive into some of the particulars. The basic principles however this time are drawn from the New Testament in Ephesians chapter 5. And so I invite your attention to Ephesians chapter 5 where Paul summarizes two key marriage principles. The two key principles of love and respect. What we're going to do today is summarize those two key principles of love and respect. And then I anticipate taking the next six messages on those two key principles. What your wife needs most from you is love and will spend three messages on that. What your husband needs most from you is respect. That's according to the Bible and so we'll spend three messages talking about what that looks like as well. But this morning we're going to see what Paul says about we have summary of those two principles and the model and the example he gives us to go by. It's not like God just said okay wives you respect your husband's husband you love your wives in the story. Now you figure out how it's to be done. He actually gives us an example, a model to follow. Amazing. If you're in Ephesians 5 the summary statement of everything Paul teaches in this passage about marriage is found in verse 33. Right at the end of the chapter look at verse 33 if you would please. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must respect her husband. Love and respect. The summary of everything that the husband is to do for his wife is love your wife. The summary of everything of wife is supposed to do for husband is respect your husband. Now let's go back and trace the model that Paul puts before us to help us understand how this is supposed to work. We're just going to review it this morning and then as I said I'll spend the next few weeks really highlighting this and fleshing it out. But this morning we're going to look at what he says back in verse 22 beginning in verse 22 to see what he says this model that he presents for husbands and wives. Now he takes the wives first and so he's going to teach about the wife's responsibility in the home the principle that he will summarize with the words a wife must respect her husband. What does that look like? It's interesting that he actually uses another word here rather than respect to use the words submission. Ah, you knew it was coming didn't you? Submission. So let's talk about what that respect and submission looks like. Verse 22. Here is the command of submission. Verse 22. Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. That's the command. Clear direct simple. Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. Now the word submit literally means to arrange under. That's the literal meaning of the word. So we have a clue as to what he's talking about because submission is often misunderstood in our culture today. So let's begin with what the word actually means. It means to arrange under to willingly put the other person first in the home. It means to recognize that God has given your husband a position of leadership in the home and you as a wife are to recognize that role that God has given him and to support his role of leadership in the home. Now I don't have to belabor the point that that is not looked upon favorably today in our day of the blending of gender roles and liberation and equality. And actually this has nothing to do with equality. It has to do with the proper functioning of the home. But what I'm teaching this morning by way of submission is often seen as archaic and oppressive something from another era not applicable to today. The caricature that is often presented as a caveman dragging his wife by her hair over his shoulder. He's the man. He's the ruler of his household. That caricature is not helped any by husbands. Couch potato husbands who sit around ordering their children and wives around like the grand Sultan of Morocco or something like that. That caricature is not helped any by husbands who have the sensitivity sensitivity of Jabba the Hut as they spout Bible verses about submission. That caricature of submission is not helped any by husbands who are so insecure that they won't let their wives do anything without their permission. Indeed those kinds of responses fuel that caricature that misrepresentation of submission and submission of white being submissive to her husband is not at all that that archaic oppressive domineering kind of relationship on the part of the husband. Again, it means to arrange under to recognize that God has established a particular order for the home just as he has everything else. And that order has been to give the husband the leadership role in the home. The wife is to arrange herself in a supportive helping role in that leadership toward that leadership. Notice Paul says, wife submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. Certainly our relationship with Christ is not oppressive in any way. And he's not saying here that your husband is your Lord. He's saying that just like you submit to Christ, you also should recognize the leadership of your husband in your home. And submit willingly to that leadership role that God has given him. And your submission to your husband is a duty that you oath Christ. It is part and parcel of your submission and surrender to Christ as a believer. That's the command of submission. But notice if you will, the reason for submission in verse 23. Verse 23 says four or because here's the reason for what he has said in verse 22, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the savior. The reason why a wife is to arrange herself under the leadership of her husband is because the husband is the head of the wife. Now every time that word head is used in the New Testament, and by the way, any time it was used in the first century when Paul was writing, so it was clear even in the culture it meant this, every time that word is used it refers to someone who is having authority over another, someone who is the leader, just like the leader of a company or the leader of a college, God has placed the husband in the leadership role in the marriage in the home. He is the head over the wife. But please notice again there's an important qualifier here that describes how that headship, how that leadership should be exercised. The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the savior. Our headship in the home, our leadership in the home as husbands is to be like Christ's leadership of his bride, the church. What kind of leadership does Jesus do? What kind of leadership role does he play? It is quite obviously a servant leadership role. Jesus is a servant leader. He modeled it and he taught it. Jesus taught it this way. Look at Mark chapter 10 verse 45, it's on the screen for you. For even the son of man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. Jesus is teaching his disciples his own leadership style. It was a servant leadership style. I didn't come to be served, to be waited on. I came to serve. Even the night before Jesus died, his disciples haven't gotten this quite yet and they're still fighting with each other in the upper room about who's going to be secretary of defense and secretary of state. And his kingdom. And so Jesus says this to them. He talks about the leadership style of the Gentiles that it is that kind of oppressive top down, make you get in your place, kind of leadership. And then he says this to his disciples in Luke 22 verse 26, but you are not to be like that. Instead the greatest among you should be like the youngest and the one who rules like the one who serves. So Jesus models and he teaches this kind of headship, this kind of leadership and that is a servant kind of leadership. It is the kind of leadership that loves your wife so much that you would be willing to die for her. And that's why Paul reminds us in verse 23 that Jesus who was the head of the church is also the savior. He reminds us of Christ's sacrifice for his bride, the church, for his people. And so that kind of leadership, the reason for submission is that God has placed your husband as the head in the home. That kind of headship, however, is to be exercised in a servant leadership style. It's not me, Tarzan, you Jane kind of leadership. It's leadership that Christ gives to his church, the kind of loving sacrificial leadership that is a servant to your wife. That's the kind of leadership. Now quite frankly, if a husband leads that way, by the way, submission and leadership headship are supposed to work in tandem. Submission is supposed to work in tandem with this kind of sacrificial loving leadership. Quite frankly, when there is this kind of leadership, who in their right mind wouldn't want to be submissive to that? Who wouldn't want that kind of headship in the home? The reason for submission is God's order in the home. Paul then in verse 24 stresses the nature of headship or submission. Again, he says in verse 24, now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. This is not an inequality, this is not a slavish kind of obedience. This is a willingness to recognize the role that God has given your husband as the head of your home and the head of your marriage, and you willingly place yourself under his leadership as the Christ does the church, the church, as the church does the Christ. He summarizes that by saying, the wife should respect her husband in this way. Now here's the problem. We live in a fallen world. We live in a world because of Adam and Eve's sin that has given all of us in this room a corrupt nature. And that corrupt nature makes this difficult, because sometimes husbands and trying to be the leader of their homes are domineering. Sometimes they're passive and don't take the position of leadership at all. Sometimes they're ungodly. And then because of simple nature, sometimes wives simply are resistant to being submissive, want to dominate over their husbands. So sin makes this difficult, but it is still the model. And the main responsibility that God gives a wife in the marriage is to respect her husband in this sense of submitting to the God-given role of leadership and headship that he has given her husband, respecting your husband. Okay guys, what about us? Paul says, summary wise, in verse 33, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself. So husbands are to love their wives. What does that look like? What does that mean? Once again, he gives us the model. The wife is to be submissive to her husband like the church is to Christ and the husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. And so the model is there. It's given to us in verses 25 to 29. And very clearly, quite simply, the model goes like this. Our love for our wives is to be, first of all, a sacrificial love. You see it in verse 25, husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. The Lord's love for the church is seen in his giving himself up for her, dying for her. The greatest, the most ultimate sacrifice of all is that Jesus died for us. He died on the cross to pay for our sins. He died for you and he died for me. And there is no greater love that can ever be exercised or demonstrated than that, that sacrificial giving of your very life. And get it. Jesus says, Paul says, love your wife's husbands like that. White Christ loved the church. In other words, it is to be a sacrificial love. Every day that we live, we are to live with a servant spirit, sacrificial giving of ourselves for the good of our wives to meet their needs. And this is what it looks like. It means that you recognize what the needs of your wife are and you live for those and not your own needs. It means, quite frankly, that you will do what pleases her above what pleases you, that you will do what's best for her schedule, above what's best for your schedule, that you will do what makes her happy above what makes you happy. And in so doing, you will love her in a way that she will respond to you and you will be happy. But it is a sacrificial kind of love. It's the kind of love that says, I will take time for you even when I don't feel like I have time. It's the kind of love that says, I'll give energy to help you when I really want to relax. It's the kind of love that says, I will give attention to you and listen to you even though I really got four newspapers to catch up on here. It's the kind of love that basically says, I'm going to understand your needs and rather than making it harder on you, I'm going to try to make it easier on you. So you know what that means guys? It means yeah, you have to pick up the towel and hang it up with the dirty clothes and the dirty clothes and forget the dishes in the dishwasher or the sink. Why? Because you're thinking, I don't want to add more work to her. I want to do whatever I can to show her I love her. And if it causes a little sacrifice on my part, that's fine. That's the way Jesus loved me. Love is to be a sacrificial love. Secondly, it is to be a pure love. Notice in further describing how Christ loved the church. He says in verse 26, to make her holy. Jesus loved the church, gave himself up for her to make her holy. The word holy literally or sanctified literally means to be set apart for. And here's the idea. Jesus died for us so that we would come to know him as Savior and we would be set apart holy to him. No flirting with the world. No other gods. His alone. The idea here in how you love your wife is that if you love her with a sacrificial love, you will sanctify her. You will set her apart for yourself. If you are living to sacrificial meet her needs, she has no reason to look somewhere else for her needs to be met. And so you are making her holy. In other words, you're setting her apart, sanctifying her for you and you alone. So it is a pure love. It is a love that takes your vow seriously and that says, I am yours and yours alone till death do us part. No matter what comes or what happens, I am committed to you and you alone. That's the kind of love we're talking about here. That's a pure love and it sanctifies you for each other in a Jewish wedding ceremony once the ring is given, this statement is often made. Thou art sanctified unto me. It means you're set apart for me now. You are holy. Set apart for me and me alone. When you love your wife as Christ loved the church, it will result in that kind of devotion and commitment to one another. It is a pure love. Thirdly, it is a patient love. Notice he goes on to say to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word. You know, I am so thankful that when Jesus saves us, He died for us on the cross. When we trust Him as our Savior, He saves us. We automatically, from that moment on, our sins are wiped off our record in heaven. We have a home in heaven that is secure. But I'm thankful He doesn't just let us go. He starts working on us. He starts cleansing us. And how does He wash us and cleanse us through the word? And it is that patient day after day, application of His word to my heart and yours that helps us to grow and become more like Him. And you know what? It's so patient. I know He's patient with me. I don't think I'm much different from you. There are times when I'm not what I ought to be and I don't say or think or do things that I should. And He's so patient. He never gives up on me. He never says, why don't you get it right? I'm tired of dealing with you. He's patient. And He's patient with you as well. He shows that by His working with us through the word of God. Now guys, don't press the parallel to closely. I'm not saying that you're like Jesus. You're perfect. And you'll be patient with your wife as she catches up. No, not that. What we can learn, I think, from this portion of Christ's example, as He patiently works with us through His word, is don't expect perfection. I'm so thankful that Jesus has never given up on me because I'm not perfect yet. He continues to work with me through His word and He'll come back tomorrow and work some more and He'll come back next month and He'll keep working. He's so patient with me. And so if we are to love our wives like Christ, love the church, we will not expect perfection. We will be patient. So it means you do not expect that ideal wife that rises every morning, two hours before dawn, cooks three perfect meals a day, spotless home. Children completely obedient and immaculate, meet you at the home every evening with a hug and a smile on the kiss, although she's worked a full time job too, and a seven course dinner on the table. That's not realistic. That's not real life. And if you're a patient husband, you don't expect perfection. And if you ever do start expecting perfection, just go look in the mirror. Right? Because we have our own words. And so we are to love our wives with a patient love. Fourthly, it is to be an enduring love. I love this next statement, verse 27. Here again is how Christ loves His church. She gives Himself up for us. He makes us holy set apart to Him. He keeps on working with us through the Word in the Inverse 27. And to present her to Himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. You know when that's going to happen, when we are presented to Him as His bride with all the stains and wrinkles gone, it happens at the beginning of His millennial reign on this earth. When He comes back at the second coming and sets up His kingdom, Revelation 19 tells us that He will have the bride seated for a marriage feast and the bride, the church, having already been cleansed at the judgment seat of Christ. And everything now spotless and perfect, no stains, no wrinkles at all. Beautifully adorned for this wedding feast. You know what this means? It means that He doesn't give up on us, that He endures in His love to the very end, that He never stops loving us until that time when we are in heaven with Him, and we are presented to Him as a spotless bride. And so what this means for us husbands is that we are to love our wives through all the stains and wrinkles, all the way to the end. We are to be committed and devoted to our wives, our love endures. That's what the picture is. It endures all the way to the end. All the stains and wrinkles cannot diminish that love. When guy was busy reading the newspaper and his wife said to him, she's beginning to notice, you know, the wrinkles and the gray hair and so forth and beginning to be a little insecure. And so as he's reading the paper one evening, she said to him, honey, will you love me when I'm old and gray? Because of his focus on the newspaper, he failed to catch the future tense in that. And he said, sure I do. Wrong response. I love the story I read about Winston Churchill. Winston Churchill toward the end of his life was at a formal banquet for leaders in England. They were having this banquet in London. As an icebreaker, they asked everybody seated to respond to this question. If you were not who you are now, who would you like to be? And as you can imagine, people around the table would say some historical figure or some body they really looked up to and admired greatly. The responses were very interesting. And last of all, they came to Winston Churchill and as he is faced with that question, if you could not be who you are now, who would you most like to be? He stood, everybody waiting to see what Churchill would say. He said, if I could not be who I am now, then I would most like to be and here he paused and looked down at his dear wife, Klimy, his lifelong partner, took her by the hand and said, I would like to be Lady Churchill's second husband. Smart guy. Smart guy. But at the end of his life, he was also modeling the kind of love and devotion that had carried them through a lifetime together. When I am doing premarital counseling, I love to talk with young couples about the four kinds of love in a marriage. The deepest kind of love is what the Bible speaks of here, that self-sacrificial commitment to put the other person first and their needs first. But there is another very deep kind of love in a marriage and it is a friendship kind of love. It is the kind of love that I see in many couples who grow old together. It is this enduring kind of love. It is the kind of love that you notice when couples are old and they want to be together and there is not much physical attraction left. That is long gone. Age has done a number on that. But they want to be with each other. They go everywhere together. They want to sit together and hold hands. That is enduring love. That is a love that is created by a million ties that have bound you together throughout a lifetime. Jesus is the example. He will love us to the very end and men we utter love our wives like that. But then it is also a caring love. Notice it verse 28. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. I am sure that verse has raised a few eyebrows from time to time. Love my wife as my own body. Is that some kind of Gaston type of thing on Beauty and the Beast where he is preening before the mirror, admiring his muscles and his wonderful smile? Is that it? No. Not at all. Notice carefully what the verse says. It does not say husbands ought to love their wives like they love their own bodies. It says husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. As a part of themselves, as one. And the whole thrust of the context is on unity. He talks more about it in verses 29 and 30. In verse 31, he quotes Genesis 2, 24 about the two becoming one flesh. The whole context is on unity, oneness. And so we are to love our wives as a part of us. In other words, she is not just a homemaker, a cook, someone to run errands. She is a part of you. You are one and you love her as you love yourself, your own body. And you say, am I supposed to love myself first and then try to love her that much? No, no, no. What he is talking about is the instinctive love that God has placed in us. He describes it in verse 29. It is reflected in two things. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church. I still like the old King James words, which are still held over in the New American standard. We nourish and cherish our own bodies. Feed and care, that is okay, but nourish and cherish, really carry, I think, the idea. We nourish our bodies. We have an instinctive drive to nourish our bodies. But the word was also used in the first century of a gardener, nourishing the soil with nutrients and minerals so that it would grow a crop and grow it well. And so the idea is not only feeding, but to nourish in the sense that you put something into a marriage to give it nutrients, to stabilize it, to help it grow strong. That is nourishing your marriage. What are you doing to nourish your marriage? What kind of emotional support are you giving? Those times of holding hand or a physical embrace that indicates, I love you, or an unexplained gift, a card that is not on a anniversary or a birthday, or talking about what you mean to each other, giving each other support, supporting each other's ideas and goals and dreams. Helping to make those happen as best you can. That is nourishing the soil of your marriage. Having fun together, nourishes the soil of your marriage. Don't be like the Midwest couple I heard about, the old farmer and his wife, they have gone to bed at night and there is a serious storm coming their way and the tornado develops and it lifts the roof right off their house and sucks their bed up into the air and she started crying. And he hollered over the den of the storm. This is no time to be crying. And she said, I can't help it. I'm so happy this first time we've been out in 20 years. Do something before it gets to that point. Have some fun together. Nourish the soil of your marriage. Love your wife in that way. And then cherish. I love that word cherish. It packs a little more meaning than just the word care, although it does mean a tender care and protection of your wife. You cherish her. She's a treasure to you. That's how we're to love our wives. Guys, let me put it in terms that we all understand. Okay, treat her like you treat your car. Treat her like you treat your golf clubs. Treat her like you treat your guns. Treat her like you treat your fishing tackle. Got the picture. Okay, cherish her. Treat her something precious. You don't want to lose. I have the very best view at weddings. I love weddings. I know a lot of pastors don't like weddings and there are some things leading up to them that I could just assume do without, but I love the wedding itself. I love the wedding. I have the best view in the house. 18 to 24 inches away from the couple. I can see the blush on the bride's face. I can see the moistness in their eyes. I can see them quickly wiping a tear off their cheek. I can see their trembling hands. I can see their smiles and wink at each other. I can hear the whispers of, I love you or is the car ready or other things that are whispered during a wedding ceremony. It's just a special time. But sometimes during a song, my mind will wander a little bit. And as everybody's watching the bride and groom looking into each other's eyes and the song is playing, my mind wonders. And I sometimes find myself thinking, how will they do? Will she respect him and willingly follow his leadership? Will he love her like Christ loves us and lead with sensitivity and care for her? Will they adjust to each other's personality differences? Will they respond to hardship and tragedy by drawing closer to each other or by being driven apart from each other? Will they put energy into their marriage and nourish it so that they'll grow deeper in love or will they just drift along until finally they don't even care anymore? And in moments like that, I quickly pray for them. I've been down the road 41 years in marriage. Some of you have been down the road a lot longer. I know what they're going to face. I know there's going to be hardship, there's going to be trouble. There's going to be times when they're at each other's thro' hosts. There's going to be times when life is so hard they don't know if they can make it individually much less as a couple. I know what they're going to face. And so I pray for them. And I pray, Lord, please allow them to put you at the center of their marriage so that they will not fail, so that they'll not just endure through life, but they'll enjoy it. And my prayer for you this morning is not just that you will endure life together, but that you will enjoy life together. But that will only happen, my friends. If you follow the model that's laid out for us, why's respect your husbands being submissive to them just like the church is to Christ? Husbands love your wives just like Christ loved the church. Let's pray together. Father, thank you for the very clear model. Pray that you would help us to understand it, to seek to live it out as husbands and wives, and they are homes, be the church. And the better for it, we ask in Jesus' name Amen.