Honor One Another

We heard an example this morning of what I would like to begin with today, but we have an illustration. One of the books that has been helped to me in framing my thoughts about how this series should progress is Gene gets his fine book building up one another. And in a chapter that he writes on the subject we're going to talk about today and see in the scriptures, he uses the example of a pianist, a very gifted pianist, a very talented pianist. And you know gifted and talented musicians are able to do lots of things with the instruments they play. They're able to do all kinds of runs and frills and cadences and all kinds of things that just thrill your heart, you know, when you're listening to them. And we have musicians like that here and we heard we heard one this morning, Mrs. Alderman. When a musician like that is playing though accompanying a soloist, that gifted musician is able to transition how they play their instrument, able to adjust the volume, the tempo, even the way that they play so that it fits the song and it draws attention to the soloist and the music that they're singing. That's the sign of a real gifted musician. I remember so well, one of the most gifted musicians I've ever known in that way, Patsy Whiteen. Patsy was always able with all of her tremendous ability to be able to work with someone who was singing and cover their mistakes, adjust the tempo. I remember years ago when I stepped out on another limb and used to do a little bit of singing, Patsy played the piano to accompany me and there were times when I'd mess up the time they were coming at the wrong place and she would just cover all of that. You know, and it would go right along smoothly. A gifted musician has the ability to adjust their skills to focus on the one who is singing. What a beautiful example of our one another for today, honor one another. We're in a series on the one another's how the church should function as a body and a family. And today we look at how to honor one another. Romans chapter 12, please. We are looking at these one and others sequentially as they appear in the New Testament. And the one for today is in Romans chapter 12. You say, well, we were in Romans 12 last week. Yes. And today we're in the same verse. We were in last week. Two one and others in one verse. What a deal. Romans chapter 12 and verse 10. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. That's the one we saw last week. Here's the one for this week. Honor one another above yourselves. Very simple, very short statement, but packed full of meaning and challenge. Honor one another above yourselves. We're going to take a look at what it means first of all, then what it looks like and what it takes to live that out. But we need to grasp first of all what it means. What is Paul talking about when he says honor one another above yourselves? First of all, Paul means that we are to have a respectful spirit. The word honor literally means to show respect to someone else. It has to do with showing respect, but also kindness showing appreciation for someone else. Giving recognition to someone else. All of that is involved in this word honor, respect, kindness, appreciation, recognition, giving that to someone else. So it means a respectful spirit. But when Paul says honor one another above yourselves, the two words above yourselves indicate that he's talking to us about a humble spirit. Above yourselves, we have a natural tendency to desire honor for ourselves. We have a natural tendency to desire recognition, to desire the spotlight be on us. We have a natural tendency because of our sinful nature to want to be seen, to want to be noticed, to make an impression on other people so that we gain recognition. We get appreciation from others. That's our natural bent. That's our natural tendency. We also have a natural tendency so that when others are being recognized, when others are being appreciated, when others are being honored, that stings a little bit. You see, it's very tempting because of our sinful nature. To adjust things, to manipulate things, to say and do things that will put us in a position, to receive that honor and that recognition or that appreciation. For others to look at us, that's the way we are. It's the way we're made because we're sinners. And in order to move out of that, we must receive and adopt and live out a humble spirit. It is in all of us to angle things, to work ways, to manipulate situations, to make ourselves look good and to draw attention to ourselves and get that recognition for ourselves, the honor that we feel like we deserve. There's one word for that kind of spirit. One word. It's the word pride. Quite simply, that's what it is. And pride has such subtle ways of creeping into our hearts and minds. And we push ourselves to the front and we want the honor and the recognition, the applause. We want that to come our way. What Paul is saying, honor others above yourselves requiring a humble spirit. But third it also requires a willing spirit. When Paul says, honor one another above yourselves. The one another seems to give the idea that we are to take the initiative to focus on the other person. I love the way the ESB translates this. It renders it this way. Outdo one another in showing honor. The new English translation says showing eagerness in honoring one another. And that captures the thought. This is not just some passive standing by while others are recognized and saying, okay, that's all right. No, no, this is an active spirit, a willing spirit that seeks to purposely take the initiative to honor other people. It's the kind of spirit that says, I will not wait for others to speak to me. I will speak to them first. I'm not going to wait to receive kindness. I will exhibit kindness. I'm not going to wait for someone to shake my hand first. I will take the initiative to go to them and shake their hand. I'm not going to wait for someone to smile at me. I will smile at them. This whole idea of honoring one another above ourselves requires us to move outside of our comfort zone, take the initiative to show kindness and love and appreciation and recognition to other people. You initiated. Outdo one another in showing honor to one another. The ESB renders it. What a great translation. In order to honor one another above ourselves, we must have a respectful spirit, a humble spirit, and a willing spirit. What does this look like? What does it really look like in our relationships with other people? There are two examples in the Bible of this kind of honoring of someone else. One of them is a negative example. One of them is a positive example. Let's look at the negative example first. The negative example is a man named Hamon. Now you may not be familiar with that name right off the bat, but you are probably familiar with the book of Esther. Hamon's story is found in that book. The book of Esther, wonderful story and intriguing plot. There's a lot of subplots and twists to it. What does it remind you of the story of Hamon? When you think of the book of Esther, you may think first of all of the two main characters, Esther the Queen, and Xerxes, the Persian King, his Hebrew name, Ahazuerus. But there are two other main characters in the book, Mordekai, who is a relative of Esther's. Esther is a Jewess who is part of the captivity in the Persian kingdom. And yet when Ahazuerus Xerxes needs a new Queen, God providentially places Esther in that position. Mordekai is a relative of Esther's. It's a little difficult to tell from the Hebrew word whether she's a he is a cousin or an uncle, but he's a relative of her, for sure. He has helped to raise her. The other main character in the book is Hamon. Now the way the story develops is that after Esther is elevated to the position of Queen in the kingdom, for some reason, and we're not told why, the King decides to elevate Hamon and give him a position of honor. Hamon is a very self-seeking wicked man, but he's given this position of honor. There is one person, however, who will not bow to him, and that's Mordekai. Mordekai as a Jew, possibly because he will not bow to anyone except to God, but more likely because Hamon is an Amalakite. Jews routinely would honor a King by bowing, but they would not bow. We're not supposed to bow to another deity. This is not the same as the three Hebrew children who were required to bow to an image of Nebuchadnezzar. Hebrews would do that. Jews would do that, but probably because he was an Amalakite, Mordekai would not bow to him. The Amalakites had done such great harm and had been such enemies of the people of Israel that God commanded many, many centrials before that King Saul wipe out the Amalakite nation. Saul did not do that. He left alive the King, a gag. The book of Esther says that that Hamon was a descendant of a gag. So here is an Amalakite who hates, again, the Jews. Mordekai will not bow to him because it was God's purpose to destroy those people. He will not show honor and respect to this enemy of God, and Hamon hates Mordekai because of that. And because he so infuriated at Mordekai, he dreams up this plot to destroy not only Mordekai, but also all of his people, the Jews. He will exterminate the whole Jewish nation. When Mordekai hears of that plot, he appeals to Esther to appeal to the King to intervene and stop that from happening. You remember the story, Esther says, I can't just walk in. You have to be invited into the King's presence. And I haven't been in his presence for some time. If I just walk in on my own initiative, he could put me to death. And Mordekai says, you may have been raised up by God for such a time as this. So Esther asked Mordekai to ask the Jewish people to fast and pray for three days, and she will go into the King. And when she does, the King has mercy and extends the scepter and invites her into his presence and asks her, what is your request? And she says, I would like for you and Hayman to come to a banquet that I will prepare. So they go to the banquet and the King asks her again, what is your request? And she says, I want to ask that you come to another banquet tomorrow. Now it was in God's Providence that that would happen, that she would be a little hesitant to spill her request at that time because in the intervening time between those two banquets in the night between the two, two things happen. One is that Hayman leaves the room full of poppest pride thinking, I am the one honored. Look, I am the one whom the King is honored. I'm the only one that Esther asked to come to this banquet and he walks out just full of pride. And then he sees Mordekai on his way home. And Mordekai will not bow to him. And he's so enraged that he goes home and he tells his wife, look at me, here I am. The second most powerful person in the Persian kingdom. And he boasts about his wealth and his family of 10 sons and his position in the King's presence. And the fact that Esther would only ask him to be at this banquet. But he said, I saw Mordekai on the way home. And none of that pleases me as long as Mordekai would not bow to me. And his wife says, there's an easy way to fix that. Build the gallows tonight and hang Mordekai tomorrow. And that plan pleases Hayman. But there's something else that happens between those two banquets. During the night the King cannot sleep. And so he asks for the chronicles of the King to be read to him that would be like the goings on of all of the political leaders in our country. Can you imagine that would put you to sleep? And so he thinks maybe that will allow me to sleep. And so he asks for those chronicles to be read. And as they're being read, there's an account that is read of a man by the name of Mordekai, who some time ago had had discovered and revealed a plot to take the King's life and had actually saved the King's life by revealing that plot. And the King stops the reading of his chronicles at that point and says, was there anything ever done to honor that man? And the scribe says, no, nothing was ever done. And so the King begins to think about what can be done to honor Mordekai. Early in the morning, Hayman walks into the King's presence, ready for the next banquet that will take place, ready to be honored again. And the King turns and says, what should be done for the man that the King wishes to honor? And Hayman thinks, of course, he's talking about me. And so he says, I'll tell you what can be done. Take a royal garment that you have worn and give it to him to wear. That would be something very rare in the Persian kingdom to wear garment. The King had worn. But Hayman's hitting the home run now. He's aiming for the stars now. But he's not done. He says, take a horse, the royal steed that you have ridden, put a crest on its head and let this man that you desire to honor, ride in the King's robe on the King's horse and be taken through the streets with everyone calling out honor to him. And the King says, that's a splendid idea. You go do that for Mordekai. And Hayman is pierced to the heart. He must honor a man that he was ready to put to death that very day. A man he despises. He hates him so much. He's angry with him so much that he is going to kill not only him, but all of these people. And now he has to honor him. Now I use that as an example because sometimes we will grudgingly honor others. We will allow them to get their respect and we will even show them some kindness and we will smile through clinch tea. All the time our heart is just like Haymans. That is not the example of honoring one another above yourselves that Paul's talking about. There is, however, another example in the Scriptures. And as you might guess, this example is Christ himself. The story is found in John 13. Let me just recount it briefly for you. It's the evening before Jesus will die. He's gathered his men together for one last Passover feast before he goes to the cross. They're in a room sharing that meal together. The disciples still do not really understand what's happening because Luke 22 tells us that while they're eating the meal, they are arguing about who will be the greatest in the kingdom. They're arguing about who's going to be honored. They're arguing about who's going to have the recognition, who's going to have the appreciation, who's going to have the places of honor in the kingdom. Seemingly, nobody has thought that as they walked into that room with no servant at the door to carry out the servants' expected duty of washing the feet of people who would enter the house. Seemingly, these men who are concerned only about honor for themselves and position in Christ's kingdom, nobody has thought to do that. Why, if I were to do that, I would be answering the question about who's going to be the greatest in the kingdom. It certainly would not be me. So nobody wants that job as they argue about who's going to be the greatest. As they are eating the meal, when arguing about who will be the greatest, Jesus gets up from his seat, from his position reclining at the table. Walks to the door, takes off his outer robe, places the servants' towel around his waist, picks up the basin of water, and walks over to the eleven men, Judas has already left the room, walks over to the eleven men to begin washing their feet. When he is done, he says to them, you call me Lord and teacher, and rightly so. But what you have seen, you're Lord and teacher due to you, I want you to do to others. He wasn't talking necessarily about the washing of feet, what he's saying, what I've done for you, becoming a servant, honoring you above myself, while you are seeking honor for yourself, while you are arguing about who will be greatest. And he went on to say, no servant is greater than his master. What you've seen me do to you, you do to one another. What Jesus was saying is here's how to honor others above yourself. Who in that room deserves honor? Jesus. Who in that room deserves to be served? Jesus. Who in that room deserves recognition and any act of kindness could be given to him? Jesus. But who is it that honors, gives recognition, shows kindness to others above himself? Jesus. And he says, I've left you an example. You do the same. That, my friend, is what it looks like. Do you see how hard this is? Do you see how hard this is for people who are wanting honor for themselves, for you to honor them? Oh, in our sinful nature, it's so easy for us to say they're getting their honor. I'm not going to give any for men who are arguing about who would be the greatest. Jesus serves them. What an example. That's what it looks like. And when I see that example, I find myself asking, what is it going to take for me to get to that point? What does it take to honor others above myself? And it takes this. It takes a ruthless dealing with selfishness and pride. I mean to ruthlessly deal, to root it out, to ask God to help you see the subtle ways, the deep ways that pride enters our hearts and our minds and affects our relationships with other people. And then to deal ruthlessly with it when we see it, when God shows it to us, that desire to manipulate situations, to say and do things that will reflect well on me, that will make me look good, that will get glory and praise for me, to deal with that ruthlessly. And again, Jesus, tells us how it's done and shows us how it's done. Paul writing to the Philippians in Philippians chapter 2 tells us how to deal with self. How to deal with pride. Would you look at it with me, please, the remaining moments of this service. Philippians 2, this is what it takes to honor one other above ourselves. It takes a ruthless dealing with selfishness and pride. Paul is talking to the Philippians about that very thing. He says, if there is anything to being in Christ, if there's anything to really walking with him and being a part of his family, then this is what I want you to do. Paul says, in verse 3, do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves, same thing as honoring others above yourselves. Each of you, verse 4, should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. We've seen this before, but Paul deals with four kinds of selfishness that must be dealt with here in this passage. But remind ourselves again, these are the death blows that must be dealt to self in order for us to honor others above ourselves. We have to deal first of all with self ambition. You see it there in verse 3, do nothing out of selfish ambition. The famous Greek philosopher Aristotle used the word that Paul uses here three centuries before Paul used it. He used that word of a greedy grasp for public office, selfish ambition, a greedy grasp for public office, and a willingness to do anything to get that public office, just or unjust, true or untrue, a greedy grasp for power. Aristotle used it of politicians. Paul uses it of believers. It is possible for us to be so motivated by selfish ambition, by a greedy grasp for power, for recognition, for honor, for people to think or speak well of us, the attention, the spotlight, all of that out of pride. It is so possible for us to be motivated by that, that we become like greedy politicians grasping for power and willing to manipulate anything to get it. Selfish ambition. Did you know Paul experienced that himself and talks about it in this very book on the part of other preachers? In chapter 1 he says, I'm in prison and he says there are some preachers who are preaching Christ out of the goodness of their hearts and pure motives. There are others who are preaching him out of rivalry. Seeking to gain applause and recognition for themselves because I'm laid up, I'm held up from preaching publicly now. And so there are some guys who are trying to work that situation to their advantage, to get publicity, to get promotion, to get applause, to get recognition for themselves. Preachers are doing that, Paul says, none of us are above this. Pride is so insidious. Selfishness is so deceptive that none of us are above this longing, this desire, this manipulative working for applause and promotion and recognition. Paul says, if you're going to honor others above yourselves, you've got to deal with self ambition. But we also have to deal with self glory. Self glory. You see it there in verse 3 again? Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, empty pride. Do nothing out of this vain conceit or empty pride or glory for self. He's talking about a kind of self-centeredness that wants the glory, that lifts our self up at the expense of others. And that can take many forms. It can take the form of criticizing others, finding fault with others, simply picking them apart so that their weaknesses are more prominent, become glaring and you look better. It can take that form. It can take the form of just promoting yourself, projecting an image of yourself that is not reality. Making yourself look better. It can take many forms. I think I've told you the story before, but I hope bears repeating in this regard. The story of Richard J. Daley, who was the mayor of Chicago for many years before his son, Richard M. Daley, became mayor. Richard Daley had a way of bumbling expressions and not being able to say things correctly. And so he always had someone else write his speeches. He had a couple of speech writers, in fact. And then he would just simply take their work and read it oftentimes without previewing it. Just get the speech on the run, open it up and make the speech. One of his speech writers came to him one day and said, Mr. Daley, I'm asking you for a raise. I've worked for you for many years. I've worked very hard. You will agree. I write good speeches for you. I'm asking for a raise. And Mayor Daley looked back at him and said, I'm not going to give you a raise. It ought to be enough for you that you work for me, a great American hero. A few weeks later, Mayor Daley was giving a speech on Veterans Day to a group of veterans, a national assembly. This was getting national news coverage. And he's thundering along eloquently as he reads his speech about how everybody else seems to have forgotten about the veterans. But not me. I believe in you. We need to honor you. We need to recognize you. There are things we need to do for you. And so today, I am recommending a 17 point proposal for city, state, national government to take care of our veterans. And everybody's leaning forward in their seat to hear what those 17 proposals will be. Mayor Daley himself is kind of interested in what he's going to say. And he turns the page. And at the top of the next page sees these words, you're on your own now. You great American hero. That is where self-glory gets you. Pride comes before a fall. A fall. Self-glory, the desire to elevate yourself and get glory for yourself leads to a fall. And we have got to deal with self-glory in order to honor others above ourselves. As long as we want glory for ourselves and we will tear others down in order to get it, we cannot honor others above ourselves. Self-ambition, self-glory, then we've got to deal with self-importance. Verse three again. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Here it is. But in humility, consider others better than yourselves. Consider others better than yourselves. Same thing as honoring others above yourselves. But Paul uses a very interesting word here. Consider others. Esteem others above yourselves. The word consider is a word which means to weigh the facts and come to a reasonable logical conclusion. This is not just, well, you're really good at this. You're really good at that. And I will esteem you and I will recognize you in this area. While all the while you're thinking or even promoting the things that you do better than them. It's not what the Bible calls flattery. See, flattery is an insincere praise of another person. You don't really mean it. Even the very praise of that other person is designed to make you look good. Is designed to reflect well on how kind you are, how gracious you are, oh how subtle pride can be. The Bible calls that flattery any insincere praise. What Paul's talking about here is praise that is very sincere because what it does is the way you look at the other person is you consider the things about them that are better than you. You see, our natural default response is that when we look at someone else and we do that comparing deal, we always compare ourselves favorably. That's natural. That's our natural tendency. We tend to look at other people and if we compare, we compare how well we stack up against them. What Paul is saying is flip that on its ear. When you look at someone else, purposefully, look for the things in that person that are better than you. Things they can do that are better than what you do and you can learn from them. Character qualities that have been developed deeper and richer than what you have reached yet and you can learn from them. There may be 20 things that you do better than that other person. There may be 10 areas of your life where you're deeper and further along than they are. Paul is saying look for the one thing, look for the two things, look for the five things you can learn from them. When you consider others, that's the way to look at them and that will deal a death blow to self importance. Boy that's hard to do, isn't it? It takes a whole reorienting of our selfish, sinful nature and it is only by the grace of God and the power of the spirit that we can ever hope to do that. Self importance. Then one final one, self interest. Self interest. Notice it in verse four. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. By the way, in verse 21, he mentions a third kind of interest that I can't neglect. In verse 21, he's talking about Timothy and Timothy's desire to serve the Lord and he says in verse 21, for everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. He's talking about the fact that Timothy is an exception to that. So there are my interests. There are others interests and there are the interests of Christ and how you divide that pie, how you establish the priorities among those three things will determine what kind of person you are. The interests of Christ, the interests of others and the interests of yourself. Paul is not saying just forget all about your own interests. You see the way he says in verse four, he says each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. I mean, God's built within us a self preservation technique that when we get hungry, we eat, when we're in danger, we look for protection. I mean, those are self interest that are legitimate. He's not saying forget all about those, but he's saying widen your scope beyond yourself to where the interests of others become an important part of your light and guiding all of those should be the things that interest Jesus Christ, the interests of Christ. We've got to deal with self interest so that it's not the ultimate priority of our lives anymore. We take into account the interests of others and it's all guided by the interests of Christ. Jesus is the perfect model for this kind of selflessness. Paul says deal death blow to selfishness. Now here's an example or a model of selflessness in verses five through eleven and we just have time to read it. Your attitude, and Paul could say on the contrary, in contrast, your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus, who being in very nature, God did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. Jesus was not defensive about his position. He had a position in heaven where he was recognized, honored, because he was equal with God. Now, he never left behind his deity, but when he became man, he clothed that with a human body so that people did not automatically recognize and honor him as God. And when that didn't happen, when he was not automatically recognized and honored, Jesus did not rush to prove himself. Okay, I'll show you who I am. I'll put you in your place. You'll know from now on that, no. Jesus was misunderstood, misrepresented, but did not think his position one that needed to be grasped and clutched at all costs. That's Jesus for seven, but made himself nothing, literally emptied himself, gave up his own rights, taking the very nature of a servant. Not just acting like a servant, talking like a servant, expressing the very nature of a servant, putting others interests first, others needs first. Jesus did that. Being made in human likeness and being found in appearance as a man, he took on humanity which which made a humbling of himself which meant he would identify with our weaknesses because he would have human weaknesses too. He would be tired. He would get hungry. He would get sleepy. He knew what it was like to be human. He identified with the weaknesses of others. Being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death, even death on a cross, submissively humble to God. He did all of that, leaving the glory to God, leaving the time when he would be recognized, when he would be appreciated, when he would be gloried, leaving that up to God. And verses 9 through 11, talk about God, we'll do that someday. It hasn't happened yet, but God will do that someday when every tongue will confess, every knee will bow before the Lord Jesus. That's our model of selflessness. I will be the first to admit to you today, this is very easy to put together, to put on paper, to talk about, and very, very hard to practice, very, very hard to live. So I challenge all of us, including myself this morning. Let's be sensitive to what it means to honor one another above ourselves. The next time you have an opportunity to recognize someone, honor that person above yourself. The next time you have the opportunity to speak to someone, don't wait for them to speak first, honor them above yourselves. The next time you have the opportunity to speak about someone, honor them above yourselves. The next time someone is being recognized and you feel the urge to match stories, to let people know, well, I've done that too. I've done more. I've done the next time you feel that way. Ask God to help you stay quiet and let that other person be honored above yourself. The next time that someone is being honored or spoken well of, join in, outdo yourself to speak well of them and to honor them above yourself. The next time attention and respect is being given to someone, and you know something about them that could dampen that praise just a bit, keep your mouth shut. What? Honor others above yourself. Easy to say. Very hard to live, and it is only as the Holy Spirit conforms us more to the image of Christ that we will even get close to that, honoring others above ourselves. You join me in prayer.