How To Respect Your Husband (3)

I heard about a guy who was sharing with these friends that he and his wife were going through the empty nest syndrome And he was kind of complaining to his friends You know one of the one of the hard things about that is my wife treats me like a child now that all the other children All the children are gone. She treats me treats me like a child He said you know when we go to the grocery store and I reach out my hand for a box of cereal She slaps my hand says we don't need that When I reach out for the ice cream she slaps my hand we don't need that When I reach out my hand for the potato chips she slaps my hand we don't need that He said I get so frustrated. I finally hop out of the shopping cart and go to the car Another couple by the name of Ralph and Janice were celebrating their 50th anniversary And the pastor didn't really know them very well But he was preaching on marriage and we heard about a couple in the church celebrating a 50th anniversary thought out of I'd invite Ralph up here to kind of you know use him as a sermon illustration and have him tell people how they've made it 50 years and how they've not only survived but thrived through 50 years and so he got Ralph up on the platform And he said to Ralph he said I want you to tell folks how you all made it 50 years in your relationship and he said well I treated her with respect and I spent money on her but mostly I took her on trips for special occasions So the pastor said well, where did you go on your 25th anniversary? And Ralph said on our 25th anniversary I took her to Beijing, China There were lots of ooze and azz in the congregation and when all that kind of Quieted down the pastor looked at him and said well, I've got another question for you Where are you going to be going for your 50th anniversary since you're celebrating your 50th? You said well, I'm going to go back and get her Well neither one of those families are dealing with much love and respect so they don't serve as good examples possibly But that's what we're dealing with in this series at least at this point in the series is The role of a husband and the role of a wife in the marriage relationship and it can be summarized in those two concepts love and respect Your Bible probably by now is naturally falling up into Ephesians 5 But let's begin there again this morning the Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 33 where after Talking quite a bit about the responsibilities in role of a husband and a wife in this passage Paul summarizes it with this concept this teaching in verse 33 of chapter 5 of Ephesians However each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must respect her husband So husband loves his wife a wife respects her husband those two basic principles Summarize the roles and relationships within the marriage bond Now we've been looking at some depth at how that's to be applied How it's to be lived out and we've brought in a lot of other Scriptures that support these two principles and seen how they actually work themselves out in our relationships in our daily lives We talked a lot about the husbands loving their wives in the last couple of times We talked about how a wife is to respect her husband We've seen that it can be communicated and understanding her husband's Needs and the way God has built him and the way God has built a man can be summarized with the letters CHI R S chairs And we've looked at the first four letters in that acronym C stands for conquest and that has to do with a man's desire to work and Achieve in life The second thing that is important about the way God has made men and the way women need to show respect to their husbands Has to do with the letter H or higherarchy Higherarchy doesn't mean necessarily that ones above the other although it includes that But as far as a man is concerned it has to do with his desire to provide for and protect his wife and his family The A in chairs has to do with the forathy and we saw that that has to do with the God-given desire to lead and As the Bible talks about that to lead with a servant's heart and a servant fashion The eye has to do with insight God has made men with insight and woman has intuition man has insight Obviously, there's some blurring of those two and crossing over of those two and the various genders the two two genders But there's some crossing over of those two but but still God has given men a kind of an insight and that means the ability to Analyze and counsel the man sees an issue in a different way than a woman does He analyzes it things through the options and then suggests a course of action that's analyzing and counseling now today We're going to look at the last two letters in chairs the first of which is Relationship women how do you respect your husband in terms of relationship in just a moment? We'll get to a few passages of scripture that describe how that is to be lived out But I want to make sure you understand what what I mean when I talk about relationship especially from a male Perspective from from a husband's perspective what is meant by relationship? That's where I want to begin. I'm talking about his desire your husband's desire for a shoulder to shoulder friendship a Shoulder to shoulder friendship women communicate best by face-to-face sharing men communicate by shoulder to shoulder friendship Let me explain it this way your husband ever asked you to just come into his workshop with him or Watch a movie with him or watch a Program on television with him or maybe even to go fishing with him or to go hunting with him and you're thinking oh Wonderful a chance to really talk deeply about the issues of our lives and marriage What happened you remember what happened? He didn't talk at all You know he was in gross than what he was doing in his workshop He might look over at you a few times and smile and and he's in gross in that program on Discovery Channel He may say wow look at the teeth on that alligator or look at the the rack on that deer that that's amazing But he won't really communicate very well in deep communication I heard about one one Couple that husband asked his wife if if he would go hunting It was it was a bow season and so they put up the blind and and they sat there for three hours He didn't shoot at anything he never even saw a deer and they never said a word She's right there beside him. They never said a word for three hours Three hours is done They pack up their gear. They're walking on the path back to the car or the truck and and he said wow that was awesome And she's thinking what what was awesome about that? We're never even spoke to each other Women you need to understand that men communicate best in Relationship in a shoulder to shoulder friendship kind of fashion not necessarily in a face-to-face open communications sharing type of fashion what's going on? When that happens with your husband Again women you communicate best by talking about your experiences men communicate best by sharing their experiences Understand that difference You want to talk about your experiences a man just wants to share his experiences with you He is energized by your presence with him if you don't understand that you will miss a real clue To building up your man and respecting him and loving him. He needs your presence a shoulder to shoulder kind of Friendship not necessarily all the time a face-to-face sharing open communication now remember men Don't go too far with that remember we talked about you've got to understand your wife's needs to and and Learn to communicate and listen in that face-to-face fashion But ladies you need to understand his relational needs and they're different from yours So what are the scriptures have to say about this? The scriptures on relationship or friendship we might call it we're gonna look at three passages And I want you to turn to them if you would please first of all in Proverbs chapter 2 Proverbs chapter 2 in this section of Proverbs Solomon is warning His son about what he calls the wayward wife the adulterous woman and he he warns her about him in verse 16 And then he describes her in verse 17 this way. He says Proverbs 217 who has left the partner of her youth and Ignored the covenant she made before God Ignored the partner Her husband is spoken of as a partner The ESB has the word companion Now neither one of those sound real romantic do they ladies? I mean you might expect husband or lover maybe even but no It's a partner a companion and that may sound cold to you, but it doesn't sound cold to your husband He's looking for that kind of partnership Companion ship a shoulder to shoulder friendship with you Relationally, that's what he needs Second passage Song of Solomon chapter 5 Turn on in your Bible past Proverbs through Ecclesiastes to song of Solomon chapter 5 and verse 16 at the very end of this chapter After she has praised his dazzling Handsomeness which I would suggest all of you ladies do as well After after she has done that she communicates this way to him in verse 16 his mouth his sweetness itself He is altogether lovely. This is my beloved This is my friend Daughters of Jerusalem Now it helps to understand a little bit about Hebrew poetry here This is good Hebrew poetry There's several aspects to Hebrew poetry that I don't want to try to get into this morning, but one of them is sometimes In Hebrew poetry the author is building He'll mention one concept and then he'll build on it with the second part of the verse or the second concept and that's what he's doing here She's basically saying he's my beloved now. That's the romantic term that means a lot to a woman He's my beloved, but she's building really to what he is In his own eyes to her This is my friend. This is my friend And she knows that that's the most important part of the relationship to him that he needs that shoulder to shoulder relationship or friendship Third passage is in the New Testament this time Titus chapter 2 Titus 2 first Second Timothy and then Titus chapter 2 If you'll look at Titus 2 and verses 3 through 5 well actually I'm going to begin in verse 1 where Paul is instructing his young trainee in the ministry Titus He sent him to Crete to establish build up the churches there on that island and he says this He says you however must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine Teach the older men to be temperate worthy of respect self-control and sound in faith and love and endurance Likewise teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live not to be slanderers or Addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good now look at verse 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and their children Now want you to notice that Paul commands Titus to teach in the church in Crete that the older women are to Train to teach the younger women to love their husbands and children The important thing about that command is the particular word that Paul uses for love It is not the same word that he uses for a husband loving his wife In Ephesians 5 when Paul says husbands love your wives as Christ love the church and gave himself up for her He uses a particular Greek word The verb is agapato or agape is the noun that word is the strongest form of love It has to do with being willing to sacrifice Yourself for the good of another person that is consistently the word that is used of God's love for us And it's consistently used of a husband's love for his wife not so here Different word By the way, it's the only text in the New Testament that commands a wife to love her husband and It uses a totally different word for a husband's love It's not the word agape. It's the Greek word fill out. Oh now. I mentioned that because it means a particular kind of love a brotherly love a friendship kind of love We get the name of one of our major United States cities from this same Greek word Phila Delphia actually comes from two Greek words amazing how much of our language is based on Greek Phila oh brotherly love or love Adelephos which is the Greek word for brother Phil Adelephia Two Greek words the city of what brotherly love that's why we call it that because that's what the name means Phil that oh is the idea here. That's the word here Why you are to learn from older women who've been around the block a few times shouldn't by now understand their husbands and their needs You're to learn from older women how to love your husband that it's to be a brotherly companion friendship kind of love that's the kind of love he needs and So that's why Paul commands older women to train younger women to love their husbands in this brotherly Kind of love or friendship kind of love this shoulder to shoulder relationship. We're calling it Now wives I want to really nail this down I Trust that I can help you to understand that need that your husband has So let's talk a little bit about understanding his need for a shoulder to shoulder relationship Please be patient with his request to just be with him or Just to be in the same room That may not mean much to you, but it means a lot to him That is that is very important in building the relationship for him to know that you're there to know that you're with him to just Enjoy your presence. He may not need to say a lot He may not need to express a lot But he wants to be next to you He wants to have you there with him He wants to know that you are in every sense of the word a partner with him in life And so there are times when he just needs that shoulder to shoulder friendship kind of relationship That's the kind of thing that makes him feel loved You understand you need wives face-to-face Communication and husbands we talked about that you need to be willing to do that too and to listen and to listen to her talk and so forth but Why do you need to understand that he is content just being with you if you complain about that? If you criticize him for that he will withdraw into isolation He will build him a man cave and spend a lot of time there So women please understand now a man does need some alone time He may need a man cave even if he has a great relationship with you But he won't want to spend quite as much time there if he knows he has a partner with him who understands his need for Relationship that shoulder to shoulder friendship Ladies, I would just ask you to watch your sons as they're growing up watch how they play Remember I've made the point in this series that this is how God has made us in his image God made man in his image Male and female he created them both male and female are in the image of God which means we both show and demonstrate Naturally something about our likeness to him, but we do it in different ways And the way men reflect the image of God is very different from the way women reflect the image of God There are some overlapping things to be sure, but there are differences great differences too And so that's why you can often look at look at how little girls play look at how little boys naturally play and you can see that already there Just look at your little guys play I almost hesitate to talk about this because I realize boys don't play like they used to At least not as much when I was a boy We played outdoors all the time. We just didn't stay inside at all. We played outdoors We played basketball football baseball whatever season it was But we also took sticks and made guns out of them and played cowboys and Indians and pirates and you know Whatever we just did all kinds of stuff like that and and the neighborhood or the farm or wherever we were was our battlefield And do you remember guys growing up with what was called what we called a blood brother? You remember that? Sometimes you might even prick your finger and and kind of Mingle blood. I mean you wouldn't think about doing that today But it's the way we used to do and or or make a mark on something and make a covenant together You know what a blood brother is a blood brother is the guy who's gonna fight with you to the end and you're gonna Stand shoulder to shoulder. You're gonna build that for you're gonna fend off the Indians and the pirates or whoever and you're gonna Fight till dark and mom says come home for supper You know, but but you're gonna be together shoulder to shoulder That's that's a little guy That's a little man Expressing the way God has put his image into him That desire for a shoulder to shoulder relationship Now ladies that may not make any sense to you. It may seem absurd to you But I would remind you of a very important biblical principle in Philippians chapter 2 That one of the ways we show Christ likeness That we are commanded to be like him in humility is not to think about our own interests But also the interests of others No where does that more clearly apply than in a marriage? It's true for the men too, but I've dealt with the men. We're done with that. We're dealing with the ladies now so ladies Don't think about your own interests only Learn to understand who he is how God has made him how he reflects God's image What his interests are and love him in that way and He has a need for a shoulder to shoulder friendship So you do need to simply spend some time with him in his activities if that's what he's wanting and needing and asking for Will he look you in the face and talk a lot probably not at least not at first By the way if you do understand and show him respect in that way You'll have a much greater opportunity for him to give you that face-to-face communication in other ways But will that time really energize you probably not Will it energize him you bet it will He will feel respected and loved So let me give you some practical ways to respect your husband Relationally and Understanding this relational Side of things One of the ways ladies you can do this for your husband is tell him that you like him and Show it by just wanting to be with him sometimes Now I hope you tell him that you love him and I hope he knows that but he also needs to know that you like him In other words, you just enjoy being with him You really like him as a person as you want that friendship with him too Not just a love relationship, but a friendship he needs that And so just let him know let him know that Secondly Respond to his invitation to engage in recreational activities together even if you just go along to watch Now I know it seems kind of dumb and it seems like your guy hasn't grown up yet If he wants to go play basketball or football or something like that and he just kind of wants you to be there watch Please understand ladies he's not a little boy anymore He's still expressing his desire to have you with him in things that fulfill him and are Important to him and he desires to do he wants you with him Please do that some doesn't mean you have to do it all the time But do that some Thirdly when you enable him to Do things shoulder to shoulder with you allow him to open up and talk with you at his own pace Because I guarantee you if you spend time with him then he will begin to open up and talk some may not happen a lot at first But he will begin to to to better understand and give towards your need for affection and open communication He will understand Your desire for this kind of relationship if you encourage him to spend some time alone which does energize him To be able to relate better to you He does need some time tinkerin on the car working in the workshop or whatever he does need some time like that Just as you need some time alone as well and Ladies, please do not denounce his shoulder shoulder friendships with other men To try to nag him into spending all of his time with you Now please understand there's got to be a balance there guys and ladies got to be a balance there You can tip that scale in an unhealthy way But your husband probably doesn't need some time to go fishing with the guys or go hunting with the guys or Spend some time at a ballgame just with the guys that's that is a need that he may have allow that Encourage that and you may find him being more open and responsive to you Okay Respecting him in the area of relationship. That's what it means to him to have a good relationship Let's move on to the next one Respect and sexuality and I'm talking here about his desire for sexual intimacy I have thought long and hard this week about how to present this in a Fourth right way, but also in a very delicate way. I recognize I'm in a mixed audience I recognize that there are some children older children in our audience and so I've really thought through how to word this Carefully and and hopefully I can do that. I want to be very clear. I want to be very forthright But I also want to be discreet and I know it's a delicate topic. So here's what I want to begin The two of you are very different I'm this is not a biology lesson. So don't worry. It's not that the two of you are very different emotionally and what your needs are Let me say it this way ladies you desire emotional closeness and affection and That doesn't necessarily require physical closeness for you It may involve that but it doesn't necessarily include that What you need to understand is that your husband desires physical closeness God has made him that way. We'll see why in just a moment from the scriptures your husband desires physical closeness and In his mind that doesn't necessarily require emotional closeness or affection Now don't misunderstand what I'm saying. I'm not saying a man should not show affection and emotional closeness I've already dealt with that when I talk to the men for each to the men We do need to give that to our wives But wives you need to understand that the primary need for a man is physical closeness Which does not necessarily involve or require for him an emotional closeness or affection? You have very different needs very different needs and please remember a Biblical principle that we will see here in just a few moments Sexual intimacy is all about meeting the needs of your mate Not meeting your own needs I tell couples that I do premarital counseling with that Sexual intimacy is not a selfish act. It is not getting something to meet your needs It is giving something to meet the needs of your mate That's a clear Biblical principle that we'll see a little bit later in first Corinthians Sexual intimacy is about meeting the needs of your mate So you need to understand both of you do what the others needs are when a husband expresses affection and emotional Understanding your wife will feel loved And wives when you Express to him a physical closeness he will feel respected May not be the word you were thinking You might have expected me to say he will feel loved he will but more than anything he will feel respected You see something that is a common misperception in our culture and Particularly among women to be honest a Common misconception is that a man's greatest need is sex. It is not a man's greatest need is respect That's Biblical that's Ephesians 533 But ladies when you refuse physical closeness to your husband He interprets that as you do not respect him enough to care for his needs And so the tragic loss in a marriage is not sexual intimacy It's the loss of respect that your husband feels as a man So the two of you are very different in your needs and how you experience fulfillment and Ladies you need to understand that just like we men need to understand the other side of it Okay, now the scriptures on his sexuality What does the Bible say every man is going to naturally understand what I'm going to say next? Many of you women may not understand this many of you do I'm sure Some of you may not because you're made so different and unless you've been exposed to this teaching before you may not understand this So for this reason I want to clearly show you from the Bible Four important principles about a man's sexuality number one is this a Man is responsive to what he sees a Man is responsive to what he sees God has made us men Biologically to respond visually We're not going to take the time to look at this passage closely But I would encourage you to read it maybe sometime today or this week. It's song of Solomon chapter four I'll just remind you of the context and what it what it teaches in Song of Solomon three we have the actual wedding ceremony of Solomon and Shulameth his bride In chapter four we have a description of their wedding night and they're coming together as husband and wife Even the physical union of them coming together In the first seven verses of that chapter Solomon describes her beauty to him You know that's the passage where he compares her to sheep and goats and you know dove and a deer and he says your cheeks are like pomegranates and your neck is like the power of David You know just great stuff guys Great stuff If you understand the culture and the poetic imagery of the day it was it was his way of really describing for her how beautiful she was to him My point is this The way he expressed his love for her is by what he sees So God has made men to be responsive to what they see Every description of his love for her had to do with what he saw That's something you need to understand about your husband When he gets out of the shower that's not the way you respond right when he gets out of the shower It's get on a bath mat. What are you doing getting the fight? I just mopped that floor, you know Well, it's a little different with him He operates visually second biblical principle Because of principle number one this is also his greatest avenue of temptation Ladies you need to understand that This is also at least in most cases for the average male his greatest area of temptation Jesus made that clear in in Matthew chapter 5 verses 27 and 28 we're going to put these verses on the screen for sake of time You have heard that it was said you shall not commit adultery But I tell you Jesus says I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully That's the key word We'll come back to that who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart Now what Jesus quite clearly is saying is that it is not The awareness of beauty or attractiveness that is sin A man may recognize that he's in the presence of an attractive female and not sin Where it becomes sin is when it becomes lust Jesus says when you look at a woman lustfully It may not be necessarily that first glance and awareness Of a very attractive woman in your presence, but it is when that that look lingers And it begins to become in your heart a desire did you know that the root meaning of the word lust is strong desire The Greek word epithumea means strong desire literal meaning of the word So when you begin to strongly desire her and obviously the context is in a sexual sense You continue looking and it changes into a strong desire for another person sexually That's when you sin that is sin Best example obviously in the scriptures is David and Bathsheba second Samuel 11 you remember the story David is at home when his army is out in the field in battle first mistake He probably should have been there leading them Maybe shows a bit of laxness in his life in another area lack of discipline maybe But anyway, David is there and the bible says he looks and sees a woman bathing and you might think What is going on there? Is he some kind of peeping Tom or something of what what's happening there? You have to understand that in that day houses were made differently and many of the private Concerns of a household took place on the roof in a discrete way But David's palace was on top of Mount Zion I've seen the excavation of the Where it was it was on the top of Mount Zion overlooking kind of it like in terraces the rest of the city And so he probably was on it was on the porch of his palace probably looking over He just happens to notice on this woman's rooftop that there's a woman who is taking care of her physical needs She's bathing Now up to that point there is no sin He noticed as that he could have Turned away and said that's not appropriate for me to see I'm going to go back inside and there would have been no sin But what happened with David is he continued to look And that looked turned into a desire to have Bathsheba sexually and thus he sent to find out who she was when he found out who she was He brought her to his palace. He just kept going further down the road now. That's what Jesus is saying When that initial glance is fed by continued looking That leads to a desire to have someone sexually that is sin you have committed adultery in your heart With that person that's sin Okay Very important biblical principle about a man's sexuality Number one a man is responsive to what he sees number two that can be his greatest area of temptation Number three follows right on the heels of number two That sexual desire that we've just talked about is to be fulfilled only in marriage The desire itself is not wrong But the desire outside of marriage is wrong the desire if followed up on and acted on Outside of marriage is wrong the Bible makes that abundantly clear Look at these two passages Hebrews 13 for Marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure For God will judge the adulterer in all the sexually immoral My friend nothing could be clearer than this in the scriptures and I know it is not taught in our culture today Anything goes in our culture The Bible here makes it very clear God honors the marriage bed You know what that's talking about that's clear Doesn't have to be spelled out But sexual relations outside of marriage God judges God's smile and pleasure and blessing is upon sexual relations inside the marriage bond Outside the marriage bond it is adultery it is immorality and God judges it That's clear So the the normal physical desire that God has placed in the heart of a man Is to be fulfilled only in marriage the second passage is Proverbs 5 Proverbs 5 verses 18 and 19 says and Solomon here is again teaching his son about these things He says may your fountain be blessed may your rejoice in the wife of your youth He's talking there about keeping the relationship just between the two of you And notice how he describes it a loving dough a graceful deer may her breasts satisfy you always May you ever be intoxicated with her love and notice he describes it in ways that men understand through the visual But he's making the point that sexual relationship and sexual desire is to be fulfilled only in Marriage with your wife he says the wife of your youth Being intoxicated with her love if we were to read on in verse 20 He would say why be intoxicated by the wife of another man Why why embrace her Marriage is the proper place for sexual desire to be expressed and the only proper place So sexual relations before marriage outside of marriage are judged by God condemned by God Fourth principle and these all build they're all related Fourth principle is this because a man is responsible to what he sees this can be his greatest area of temptation Because that sexual desire is to be fulfilled only in marriage because of those three number four It is the wife's responsibility before God to meet her husband's need If If that need is to be fulfilled only in marriage then why is you better be meeting that need Now I want you to turn to this passage Because this one's a little bit longer. Don't want to put it on the screen first Corinthians chapter 7 First Corinthians chapter 7 Verses 3 through 5 Paul is answering a question that the Corinthians have written them about about whether or not it's even right to get married at all or even you just stay celibate single and He says in verse 2 since sexual immorality is occurring in other words It's so common in Corinth and if you know anything about Corinth if you do any study about the background It was like good old 21st century USA or even better Europe in the 21st century. It was wide open sexual So he says since that's occurring in a bounding each man should have sexual relations with his own wife and each woman with her own husband In other words, he's repeating again that need is to be fulfilled only in marriage Now look at verse 3 the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife and likewise the wife to her husband The wife does not have authority over her own body, but yields it to her husband. Obviously that's not talking about Some other ways that people have misused. It's talking about in the sexual area in sexual relations Okay middle of the verse in the same way the husband does not have authority over his own body But yields it to his wife Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time So that you may devote yourselves to prayer then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control Pretty clear isn't it Husbands it is your responsibility to meet the needs of your wife remember that her needs begin with affection and an emotional expression of love her emotional needs That's why the expression sex begins in the kitchen for a guy is always true. It starts way before the bedroom Okay, because that's how her needs are met For him ladies you need to understand that your husband will come under satanic attack if you are depriving him of physical closeness Just like you will come under attack of Satan if you're being deprived of emotional closeness I mean this is well documented the way most affairs start for women is because they do not feel emotionally Attached or their husband has lost affection for them And they find someone that will talk to them listen to them understand them better For a man It's because the needs of physical closeness are not being met typically You say well boy that sounds like a man talking doesn't it Typical male up there preaching Just so you won't feel that way I've told you before that a lot of this material in this section of this series I've grown in my understanding of through reading Emerson Egrich's book Love and Respect where he takes these concepts really thoroughly flushes them out And I've just tried to provide more of a scriptural basis and and apply them in that way but Emerson and his wife Sarah do Marriage conferences all over the country and all over the world for that matter and she speaks to the ladies So I am going to quote What she says to the ladies this is a woman speaking not a man speaking now, okay? This is what she says in those conferences wives What if your husband didn't talk to you for three days three weeks or three months you would think that abominable I think you get my point Some wives want very emotional needs met after marriage, but somehow lose sight of their husbands sexual needs And then she goes on to say this remember your son will have the same need. How do you want your daughter-in-law to treat him? Your son didn't ask to be made this way any more than your daughter or daughter-in-law Asked to be made with the need to talk intimately on a regular basis And what she basically is saying is she has the need for if affection and an emotional closeness Well in the same way your husband has the need for physical closeness If you don't understand that difference and if you don't meet that need you're violating first Corinthians chapter 7 And you're opening up the door for temptation Paul says it so that Satan will not tempt you Don't violate that Okay, let me give you some practical ways to respect your husband sexually number one You will respect his need for sexual intimacy when you respond to him sexually more often and Actually initiate physical closeness periodically Secondly When you understand that he needs Sexual fulfillment just like you need emotional fulfillment Thirdly When you let him acknowledge sexual temptations Without making him feel like he's unfaithful or shaming him I've made it clear from the Bible that can be the area of greatest temptation for a man if he can't talk with you about his needs And the fact that they may not be being met Who else can he talk to? I will suggest he will find someone You don't want that to happen Fourthly Don't try to make him open up to you verbally and emotionally and by affection by withholding physical closeness The Bible never teaches that I'm to fulfill my mates needs In order to get them to fulfill mine or only if they do fulfill mine that is selfishness at its core And the Bible teaches where to have a selfless giving relationship when it comes to this and any other part of marriage Not a selfish looking for my needs to be met So ladies Here it is in a nutshell Paul command you God command you to respect your husband very clearly Part of what that means is to understand and meet his need for a shoulder to shoulder friendship Understand that and meet that need Part of it means to understand and meet his need for sexual intimacy Now we're turning a corner in this series of messages. I'm going to begin next week Kind of a different part of this series which has to do with keys to harmony in the home And we'll talk about seven keys to harmony attitudes and actions that lead to harmony in the home keep the home from being Split up But right now this important juncture when I close out this this section on a husband's role and a wife's role I want to challenge you both husbands and wives. I want to challenge you to save your marriage Save your marriage from all the cultural philosophies that attack what the Bible teaches and are ripping apart marriages shredding them apart Save your marriage from all the pressures Abstresses of society and of life that are pulling the two of you apart Save your marriage from the temptations that the Bible makes clear can pull you apart I'm pleading for is that you meet each other's needs within your marriage Husbands love your wives as yourselves love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it wives respect your husbands as the church relates to Christ Respect your husbands and meet his needs Save your Marriage Please Let's pray together Father your word is very clear I pray that you would help us to not just be grudgingly submissive to your word but joyfully repentant and yielded to your spirits command through your word Father help us first of all in our hearts and minds to submit ourselves to you and then to obedience to your word So that our marriages will be founded upon the principles of scripture and not based upon the false teaching of this world In Jesus name we pray Amen your